It's an interesting feeling....

Not caring is really starting to work for me....I feel like I've become a little more relaxed about classes and work and I think its for the better. I'm trying to focus on just doing what I can and managing my time so I don't run myself into the ground. I think I have in the past been too hard on myself for not doing things perfect or for finishing all my tasks on time and now I'm starting to realize in real life shit happens and that's okay. Working at my internship has made me a lot more relaxed and I think its really making me a better social worker. I still care a lot about doing my work well and being on time, but I am starting to accept that I can't fix everything and that I shouldn't sweat all the small stuff. Even though I am feeling more relaxed I still haven't had much time to update this blog in forever. Things have been very busy at school and work, but its been a good busy. I had an interview with my sen sem professor today and she said some really positive and nice comments about how she feels I will be when I enter the field for real next year. It is always nice to hear supportive words and positive feedback so that pretty much made my day. The fact that my second class got out an hour early didn't hurt either. I can't believe this semester half way over...next week we are picking classes for our very last semester at Stockton....I am finally feeling very old!!! Where did the four years go???? I am excited to graduate, but a part of me doesn't want May to ever get here. Right now I am extremely torn about whether or not I should start grad school right after graduation or if I should take a year off. People keep telling me I will lose momentum if I stop, but I really don't see that becoming a huge issue. I'm not just going for a Masters because I should, but because I really do want to have one and maybe eventually a PhD. So taking a year off shouldn't alter my feelings too much and it would give me a chance to be in the field and earn some money towards tuition.
Other than the grad school issue everything is going smoothly. I am super excited about halloween!!! I found an idea for a very creative costume to wear to the party on saturday!!! I am also very excited because thanksgiving is approaching aka my fav holiday which means FOOOOOOD!!!!!! And look out cause this year I'm cooking!!! I even bought the cutest apron to wear so I look professional!!! I've been watching a lot of food network to gear up for the adventure. I am in charge of all side dishes and making one of the desserts! I am also in charge of keeping an eye on the bird, but not actually in cleaning and stuffing cause its too heavy for me to lift lol!!! Anyways it should be a great adventure!

Sunrise =)

Been a senior for like three weeks now and life is good. The apartment is fabulous, classes aren't too scary, and my internship is amazing!!!!! I really love saying that I'm a senior, I feel very accomplished and it usually shocks people since I look like I'm 15. My senior sem is by far my favorite class. I love being with all the sowk seniors and sitting in our circle talking about fieldwork and such. Even though it's at 8:30 in the morning I am always really hyper and talkative, which in this class is a very good thing. I had to do my presentation last week and I think it went really well. I was up in front of the class for over an hour...a little intimidating but after a while it was kind of fun. Maybe I'll try the professor thing when I'm old...I like the idea of running the show lol! My 10:30 gero class is pretty basic like most gero classes...I'm thinking about getting my gero certificate as a resume builder for grad school/ a job. My online class is whatever lol..why do I keep taking art classes as gen's is beyond me, but it seems easy if I can motivate myself to read the stupid chapters each week!!!!!
Being at my internship makes me know that social work is definitely what I want to be doing. I knew before that I loved my field, but of course like everyone else I had doubts if this is what I really wanted or if I could survive in a field that can be so emotionally draining. But after only three weeks at MM I am totally in love with it. The residents and staff are so amazing there and I really love not knowing exactly what each shift is going to be like. Everyday we have different things to take care of and people to meet with so it's always exciting. I'm starting to bond with a few of the residents now which is really nice. I am like 99% sure that I want a job with the elderly population when I graduate now. Hopefully my boss will help me find something since she kind of already hinted that she would =)
This semester is very busy but I'm adjusting pretty well. I am on a good schedule of waking up at 6:50am and going to bed at 11-11:30pm..which I never thought I'd pull off since everyone knows I like the night life...I like to boogie =) But things are going well and at the end of the day I get to come home to the pimp apartment...being off campus is great! I feel like a real grown up now since we pay rent and such lol. I am in luv with my fur white sofa and pretty room..and having my own bathroom!!!! I can't wait for everyone come down and visit now that we are settled in!!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN HONOR OF THIS HUGE EVENT THE FOLLOWING BLOG WILL BE TYPED ENTIRELY IN CAPS!!!! I HAVE BEEN 21 FOR AN ENTIRE TWO DAYS NOW AND IT IS FAB!!!! WE GOT BACK FROM ATLANTIC CITY THIS MORNING AND I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY WE HAD SUCH AN AMAZING TIME!!! IT WAS LIKE THE PERFECT WAY TO END THE SUMMER TOGETHER!!! I REALLY WISH EVERYONE I LOVE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH ME, BUT I PARTIED ON DESPITE THE MISSING PEOPLE! THE HOTEL ROOM WAS REALLY AMAZING!!! THE TROPICANA IS DEF ONE OF MY FAVORITE HOTELS IN AC. THE ROOM WAS ACTUALLY BETTER THAN I IMAGINED AND WE FIT 6 PEOPLE WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM! I'M GLAD WE STAYED TWO NIGHTS BECAUSE ONE JUST WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ENOUGH! TWO WENT BY FAST ENOUGH =( BUT IT WAS A 21ST I WILL NEVER FORGET! I COVERED ALL THE IMPORTANT 21 EVENTS....I WORE MY FLASHING TIARA AND BUTTON THANKS TO KELLY!!! I DID SHOTS AT THE BAR...ONE OF WHICH WAS A MEAN SHOT THANKS TO EVIL STEVE LOL!!! ALL IN GOOD FUN THOUGH! I MET A RANDOM COUPLE WHO BOUGHT ME SHOTS! I GAMBLED AWAY MY MONEY AND DID NOT WIN...I WAS UP A LITTLE AT ONE POINT, BUT THAT GOT KILLED FAST HEHE! I ALMOST CAUSED A SECURITY INCIDENT WHILE COMPLETELY TRASHED ON THE CASINO FLOOR. I LOST MY BUTTON AT ONE POINT AND ALMOST GOT STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR. I ORDERED MY FIRST EVER DRINK WITH DINNER AT PF CHANGS....AKA MY SECOND FAVORITE RESTAURANT (2ND TO CRAB TRAP)....A KEY LIME PIE MARTINI THAT WAS FABULOUS!!! I STAYED UP TILL 5AM GAMBLING AND STALKING OUT THE FREE DRINK LADY NAMED KAREN WITH STEVE AND A DRUNKEN JANINE. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST I WATCHED A DRUNKEN JANINE TWEEZE STEVE'S EYEBROWS...WHICH IS ALWAYS ENTERTAINING!!!! AND ALL OF THIS WILL BE FOREVER REMEMBERED THANKS TO KELLY BECAUSE SHE IS MAKING ME A PHOTO ALBUM FOR MY PRESENT!!!! AS FOR MY OTHER AMAZING BIRTHDAY GIFTS!! MY FOLKS PAID FOR THE HOTEL ROOM, GAVE ME $100 TO GAMBLE WITH, AND HAD A CUSTOM NECKLACE MADE TO MATCH MY BIRTHSTONE RING!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE JEWELER TO FINISH MAKING IT!!!! MAG LET ME PICK THE NECKLACE OUT MYSELF SO IT WILL MATCH EXACTLY AND I WILL LIKE IT!!! MY BEST SURPRISE GIFTS WERE FROM JANINE AND KAREN AND KEVIN! JANINE TOTALLY SURPRISED ME THE OTHER MONTH WITH TICKETS TO WICKED IN PHILLY AND WE WENT ON THE 18TH!!! IT WAS SOOO AMAZING...DEF MY FAVORITE SHOW THUS FAR AND I HAVE SEEN QUITE A FEW SO THAT'S IMPRESSIVE!!! I WANT TO TRY AND GET TICKETS TO SEE IT IN NEW YORK OVER WINTER BREAK CAUSE IT WAS THAT GOOD!!!! AND KAREN AND KEVIN TOTALLY SURPRISED ME WITH MATCHING PERIDOT EARRINGS TO GO WITH MY RING AND SOON TO BE NECKLACE!!!! IN CONCLUSION TO THIS BIRTHDAY BLOG!!! I HEART BEING 21 AND I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY EVER!!!!!! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY 21ST...LUV YA!!!!!

2 more weeks!!!!

It is officially two more weeks until I am 21!!!!! I can't wait to never have to worry about being underage again!!!! I am slightly sad that my birthday is approaching so rapidly because it also signifies the end of summer =( I can't believe that I am moving into my apartment two weeks from friday!!!! School starting up again is always bitter sweet. I'm sad to say goodbye to my homies from home, but excited to see my stockton people again! I'm sad to leave behind Jack, Mag and my self cleaning casa, but excited to be on my own and party in the apartment!!! I'm sad to start class again, but excited that I only have one more year left and this year is gonna be really bangin!!!! Being a senior is pretty sweet. I only have three classes this semester and I lucked out and only need one book per class..my amazon bill has never been so cheap! I may actually wind up making more money from selling last semester's books then I spent buying these! That has never happened before!!!!
I'm also really excited to decorate in two weeks!!!! Janine and I have bought the cutest stuff for the apartment!!! The living room is going to be black and white which we decided because we fell in love with a white fur sofa at Ikea!!!! And I bought the cutest black ottoman to go with it from BB&B my favorite store in life because it seriously has everything!!! As does Ikea another one of my favs!!!! For my bedroom I went with a teal theme and a lot of color since the living room is black and white. And since I have my OWN bathroom that will be blue as well! The my own bathroom part is my favorite since I have never lived in a place with more than one shower...ever!!!!
Summer is ending really quickly...I feel like their isn't enough time to get everything in. I haven't seen half my friends in like two weeks..which totally sucks!!! I'm really glad everyone is stopping work soon and that we are all going to AC for my birthday!!! It's like a mini vacation together as a way to end our last summer before graduation!!!!

The hotel is officially open....

Last night was the first night at hotel mcgeehan and I think it went rather well if I do say so myself! Everyone got pretty happy thanks to Berto's "hide and seek". I had about three cups so I can attest to that fact that the stuff really sneaks up on you. I was a little dissapointed however that my jello shots didn't get finished. I guess 100 jello shots was just too much so I will remember to cut it down next time. Hopefully next weekend goes just as well as last night and more insane events occur. And hopefully no one catches any of them on film. What happens at hotel mcgeehan stays at hotel mcgeehan. And hopefully we finish off some of the massive amounts of alcohol we have left. We are doing well though we went from 4 handles of vodka to 2.
Summer is going by sooo quickly!!! It's only a month until my birthday!!!! I can't wait! I am doing pretty good at accomplishing my summer goals. I am working on buying furniture for the apartment! I can't believe we move in August 31st....it's soo soon! I have been doing good with my reading...started my 13th book of the summer today. It was such a nice relaxing day of nothing. It was about 3pm before everyone finally left and other than some cleaning up I did nothing all day besides watch movies, eat and nap on the sofa. I love having the house to myself it is amahzing!!!
In more important news, I went on my interview for my internship the other week and it went really well. My supervisor seems really nice and the place is pretty well kept and non-smelly for a nursing home. Some of the old people were so funny when I went on my tour. They were asking me questions about myself and kept trying to remember my name...probably so they can harass me and make me their bitch when September 5th rolls around. It's crazy to think that in the next year I will spend 400 hours at Mainland Manor. I should probably just get a room there so I don't have to wake up at 7am to get there from my apartment. Thank god I live down at school though cause 15 minutes is a lot nicer than 55 for a commute. Hats off to those who drive an hour to work everyday I would cry. I bitched about drving down twice in one week for my interview and work physical/ drug test. (I passed btw lol I'm clean). Anywayz I think it's gonna be a very interesting experience this semester...if only I was getting paid =(

Two Months Till My Birthday!!!!

Yay two months till my birthday!!!! I talked to my Uncle Charlie today and he said he is a Tropicana vip member so he is going to see if he can get the rooms cheap for me! I'm so excited for my birthday I can't wait to be 21!!!! I know once the excitement is over then 21 will be like any other year, but for now I'm enjoying the hype. I'm also extremely excited about the hotel mcgeehan! I'm thinking the whole facebook invite idea was pretty clever. I'm not gonna lie I made fun of people in the past for doing facebook invites, but they are pretty handy esp. for someone like me who hates calling people and talking on the phone. I hope everyone who said they are coming can actually make it. I sent the invites out early so people can save the date...hopefully it works! Either way it should be good times!!!
Summer has been great so far! I've read like ten books so far and I'm getting seriously addicted. I'm on to a new book like every three days. Which I consider to be impressive since I only read at night before bed. I love when a good book keeps you awake till like 2am as my James Patterson did last night. Beach Road started out a bit slow, but in the end totally shocked me! I can't decide if I'm more shocked by the book twist or that fact that I was shocked by James Patterson who I have recently found to be amazingly predictable with his books! I think I am enjoying his books again because I started reading some of his older stuff. Thanks to the good old thrift shop I've been enjoying some 1990's editions and they are actually better than the more recent ones.
4th of July weekend is this weekend and that means BBQs!!!! I'm very excited for Karen and Kevin's bbq on saturday and Laura's bbq tomorrow! I love burgers and all other bbq foods because I am a fat kid on the inside lol! Now I must go get ready everyone is coming over here tonight so we can meet Laura's fella! Hopefully things go well and we don't scare the poor guy with our loud American ways!

It's a strange feeling....

Something about this summer just doesn't feel right so far. Like something is missing or that I should be doing something more important, but I don't know what that is. I feel like all I do is go to work, run errands, and read books all day long. I already read seven books so far in the past month, at this rate I'm gonna have to hit up a thrift store or the library cause I can't keep a large enough supply. Anyways, not that there is anything wrong with having lazy afternoons, but I'm starting to feel old and I think 20 is too young to feel this old. I'm hoping things will seem more normal now that Laura is home and we are all hanging out tomorrow night. Maybe missing a member of the group is what has been missing from the summer so far. I just can't wait to do some of the typical summer stuff like go to the beach or party at Casa Romano and Hotel McGeehan hehe. Then I think it will really be summer to me.

In other news, I got my placement today for next year's internship. I will working at a nursing home in mainland. I really wanted a spot with hospice, as strange as that sounds, but I guess the nursing home is cool too cause I really like old people and I didn't want anything dealing with kids because I hate the idea of dealing with hyperactive kids and their idiot parents. I am glad I got the nursing home and it makes me really want to volunteer at the local nursing home down the street so I can get my feet wet before starting in September.

Another good thing that happened this week is we got to print out and view the proofs from the wedding and I don't look awful in them!!! Woo hoo for me!!!! I mean I know there are always a few bad candids in the bunch, but I was glad to see the more formal ones turned out pretty good. I don't wanna be the ugly bridesmaid in the photo album twenty years from now. And thanks to the fact that Karen has pretty friends and our dresses were cute I don't think anyone will have to hold that title!

The Wedding Has Come and Gone

I can't believe I'm saying this...but the wedding is over....and it was fabulous. I guess I am a slightly biased since I did plan most of the wedding lol, but I don't care it was great! Friday started off being all kinds of hectic, but in the end it was all worth it. All the planning, the spending hours at the salon, the slightly uncomfortable dress, agonizing over my toast....it was all worth it because by 8pm Friday none of that mattered. The wedding went off perfectly, the weather held out and was beautiful, the food and booze were good, and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time. My favorite part was the pretty grounds and being outside on the balcony. I loved sitting out there and drinking with friends and family. I didn't really dance too much at the wedding, but I'm blaming that on my very tight dress. After finishing my delicious dinner the dress just became too tight to bust a move in lol. But it's okay because I got to catch up with a lot of people and make fun of the bad outfits and drunken fools...aka my favorite pasttime. Now that the wedding is over I get to relax. I'm starting up at work again tomorrow, but my hours will be light this summer. I figure since it's my last summer before being a full fledge grown up I should enjoy it and I have enough money in the bank to slack a little and stay at AH and just have fun.

Please tell me this is all a bad dream

Sometimes you have to wonder if God is really starting to hate you. This past week has been so bad I'm praying every morning I'm going to wake up and realize it's all been a bad dream. It all started last Monday when my Mom called to tell me my Dad was in the hospital. When I had seen him on Sunday when he came to Stockton to move some of my crap out I knew he seemed a bit off. Turns out he was having heart problems and he has now been in the hospital since last Monday. He was at Kennedy down the street which was nice cause he was so close I could just pop in and out, but then it got serious and he needed minor surgery so now he's at Lourdes which is farther away. So basically it's my first week of summer and I've spent about nine hours a day at hospitals. It is so weird to be visiting my Dad in the hospital, it's scary cause it makes me feel very old. My parents are too damn old and they better get healthier cause I don't want any more hospital visits for another twenty years! Walking into the hospital Tuesday night after I moved home was really odd. Seeing my Dad in the hospital bed was surreal because it has always been him visiting me in the past. In a strange way, part of me actually peferred it that way because I would feel more in control of the situation. It is hard to just sit there and stare at his heart monitors for hours hoping his heart rate goes lower. He started last week at 170 which is like insanely high and now he is down to like 110ish most of the time and 140 if he is moving around, which still isn't good but for now we'll take it. I know he is going to be okay once the meds take effect, but it's crazy to think he might not make it to the wedding if they can't get this under control by Friday! I can't even imagine Karen walking down the aisle alone or him not being there to dance with her. Everyone is trying to keep their spirits high for my Dad's sake and not talk about that, mostly because it's everyones biggest fear! I hope anyone who is wondering why I have been half alive the past week reads this. I haven't been able to call anyone back because getting cell phone service in a hospital is impossible and by the time I come home at 10pm I'm sooo tired from waking up at like 8am that I crash and forget to call and update people. Anywayz thanks to everyone for all the concern...it's so true that you know who your true friends are when the shit hits the fan! Thanks again and I hope to see everyone soon!!!!

The End is Near

The end of this school year is very bittersweet for me. While I am of course excited for summer and being done with classes, it is hard to think about having to leave in a week. This time next week I will be home a whole day already. Where did the last three years go? I can't believe I'm going to be a senior in a week. Even more than that I can't believe I am leaving this apartment in a week. Living with three other girls isn't always easy, but for the most part it has been amazing and I don't want to ever leave. We always knew the two years would go by fast and they did. It's going to be very emotional packing up all the stuff and leaving next Tuesday because not only are we no longer living in this apartment, but we are no longer all living together. I can't believe the Bially is graduating...it's so happy, yet sad. It makes me want to turn back time to freshman year in the crappy dorm. Back then we hated the small rooms and crappy caf food, but looking back all I can remember is the craziness and the fun.
I'm really starting to feel like a grown up recently. I have been making a lot of changes recently and taking steps toward the future. It's funny how when you know you only have a year of safety left you realize that you really need to change all aspects of your life and become a grown up. I just finished filling out my senior internship application. I hope the board likes my essays and gives me a good placement. That could make or break my first few years post Stockton. I've been thinking recently that maybe I will go away for grad school. I figure I may never have another oppurtunity to just pack up and leave and there isn't really anything holding me here anymore. It will of course be hard to leave my friends and family, but I would be sure to keep in touch and I wouldn't stay away forever...maybe just two years or so.
Well that's about it for now. I'm so stressing about this weekend...loads of studying to do and a stupid africa paper to write! Once Tuesday evening hits life is less complicated...sad, but less complicated.

This Week Blows

This week blows a whole lot. It's only Tuesday morning and already a lot of bad stuff has happened. Clancy passed away from cancer on Sunday and even though I wasn't that close to her or the boys the past few years it still sucks. When someone dies it makes you think about everyone in your life that has died and that is just always depressing. I didn't get emotional when I heard about her passing, but I think that is just because I feel very detached from my family while here at school. I'm sure the funeral on Thursday is going to be very diffcult since my aunts and uncles and my folks are going to be a mess. Dealing with death is so terrible it kind of makes me wonder why I am choosing hospice as my first choice for my internship next fall. I hope I am as tough as I think I am so that I can remain emotionally stable while helping my clients. Bottom line is that cancer sucks and I don't get how people can watch someone they love die of lung cancer and then light up a cigarette. I don't think I will ever understand that appeal of smoking and honestly I hope I never do.
Today was another bad day with all that happened at Virginia Tech. It's so scary to think that something so random can just happen to people my age. It was awkward sitting in class today thinking that the exact same thing could happen at any college, including Stockton. I don't understand how one person could ever be so angry that they felt the need to kill so many innocent people. It sounds terrible, but situations like this really make you look differently at the people sitting around you in class that you really know nothing about.
Anywayz onto happier things. This time tomorrow night my Africa paper will be finished and I will be much happier. The end of the semester doesn't seem to be going too badly. I just want to be done with all of this and have four months to do nothing. The wedding will be here before we know it. This weekend is Berto's big party so I'm looking forward to that and seeing everyone. I'm focusing on the good to get me through this awful week.
The only good news I got today was that Janine and I are getting our seeing eye puppy on May 2nd...well technically it's Janine's puppy, but since I will be living with the beast for 9 months I am part owner/ babysitter. We don't know her name yet, but its a female german shepard. I wish they let us name the dog...hopefully she will have a cool name. And since today is her day of birth I will conclude this blog by wishing Janine a happy birthday!!!! woo hoo for the roommate!!!

Pause

It's weird being home for spring break. It makes me feel like I don't really go to school, like my other life at Stockton is on pause until Sunday. I guess this a good thing because that life was really starting to stress me out! This semester has just been really ugly for me. I've had so much work between classes and the wedding that I feel like I'm constantly on over-drive. I'm counting down the days till school and over and the wedding is finally here. It's kind of sad because I know the wedding is going to be really nice, but this have been so stressful that a small part of me wishes it was just over already...not that I'm about to say that to Karen. As each little piece falls into place I'm starting to feel better about the whole thing though. We are finishing making the invitations on Wednesday and I went for a dress fitting today and my top is coming along nicely. I also got my shoes today and they are very cute!!! I can't believe how soon May is...I hope everything continues to fall into place.
After the break there is only 31 days of school left this year. I can't believe I am 31 days away from being a senior. The idea of it scares me a lot. I feel like I haven't accomplished enough on a personal or professional level to be graduating in a year....I'm hoping that it's just nerves and that I am not really behind. I was looking into grad schools tonight online. I really would love to go to Penn, but that would be like almost $70K and I'd have to go straight for two years. Rutgers, Widener, and West Chester are more reasonable for MSW's they would be around $30-40K and I could take my time and go course by course for most of them, since I'm going to have to work at least part-time during school. Basically I'm going to be poor for at least the next ten years, maybe more, and I need to find someone who wants to support me. And I need to start doing more volunteer work because schools really want that and I haven't done hardly any in the past few years.
The weather this week has been amazing. It makes me want to go the beach!!! It even inspired me to buy a bathing suit the other day. It's a cute brown with white little dots two-piece. And I actually don't hate it on me...shocker!!! Hopefully I will get to spend some time outside this week and enjoy the weather. I have a paper to write all day tomorrow about Africa, but going to Cheesecake for dinner is my reward =) Wednesday I have to do the envelopes for the invites and run a few errands so I will have to squeeze in some sun time! Thursday is sewing day since I haven't even opened my sewing machine from Christmas and Mag is getting pissed hehe, so I'm going to sew her a pillow or something simple lol. Then it's a weekend full of wedding business and hanging out. And before I know it my week of freedom will be over and it will be back to Stockton for another 31 days...just where I want to be =(

Spring break...so close I can taste it!!!!!!!!

This week is feeling very long and it's only Tuesday!!!! I hate taking care of all the little things before spring break! I'm trying to tie up a lot of loose ends so that I will have less to do over the break and more time to sleep and do nothing. I always think spring break is going to be so relaxing, but then I make too many appointments and plans and before I know it the week is over and I didn't get any rest at all. I already have doctor's appointments and wedding issues and work filling like four of my days off!!! Hopefully I will keep the other days open for some much needed rest and some hanging out with friends!
I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping on top of work this semester. I finally caught up with my politics assignments yesterday and I even did my homework that isn't due until after spring break! Daly will be so impressed lol. Tomorrow I'm getting back my psych grade and I'm very scared about that! I'm kind of praying for snow so I won't have to endure that until after the break. But I can't really have a snow storm right now because I need to go sit in the library tomorrow and watch three hours of africa videos!!! Discover Africa is a really interesting class, but these assignments are killing me!!!! Over the break I have two five page papers due for that class!!! Another oh so fun thing to occupy my relaxation time!
On a happier note, this past saturday was the Rave Part Deux and it was amazing!!! Aside from the fact that our bitch CA threatened to bust us. The jello shots were amazing if I do say so myself and I think everyone enjoyed our creative beer pong table! We must do at least one more rave before we leave the apartment of fabulous forever, we are thinking the second week in April! Rave Part Tres...holla!!!!

It's gonna be a long ass 40 days....

Today is only the first day of Lent..well really the first two hours of Lent and Jackie is already dying. I decided to give up soda for Lent because I always admire people who give up something that is difficult for them and I decided to be hardcore this year and do this myself. It is already extremely tough...I love soda!!!! The can of cherry coke in the fridge is calling my name!!!!!!!! I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to do this. I'm not really a fan of the Catholic faith anymore since I've stopped going to Church and I disagree with several of the key elements of the faith, but I am still giving up the soda because I see it as more of growth thing than a Lent/ Jesus thing. Like obviously Lent is a Catholic thing, but I really want to prove to myself that I can stick to this no soda pact and that I am a strong in willl when I want to be. So I figure I will make this sacrafice during Lent so I can suffer along with other people. I've also decided to do some positive things this Lent. I have been using the f-word recently and I don't know why? I really think it is a pointless word that makes a person sound dumb and I don't really know how, but I recently became addicted to using it. The point is I want it out of my vocabulary so I am going to try to not say it at all for the next 40 days. Even in those situations when you are extremely pissed and the situation really warrants a nice f-bomb lol. Lastly for Lent I am going to try to be less negative. I sometimes tend to focus on the negative side of things or I wil catch myself making a negative comment when I don't need to. So I've also decided that I'm going to try to be more positive and happy. I'm hoping the next 40 days will make me a better person, that is if I survive.

Tell Me Is This Fate

It's 88 days until the wedding and I'm stressing hardcore!!! Planning this wedding is making me realize I am either never marrying or I'm just going to elope because I would never want to stress people out as much as this wedding is stressing me out!!! Every little thing seems to be turning into a disaster!!! Well only the parts that are my problem really. Mag picked up my dress yesterday, I tried it on and the skirt is tight!!! I can get it to zipper and close, but it bunches and looks awkward because it comes up sooo freakin high!!! Yeah my top will cover this issue, but after a few drinks and some dinner, I'm afraid I'm gonna pop!!!! Then today I tried on the trial top I had made and of course it looks like crap! I feel awful because Donna spent so much time on it, but it really looks horrible on me so I'm going to have to go to another person and get a different pattern made. To make things worse when I called Karen and told her about how tiny my skirt was she tells me that Melanine got a size four skirt too and hers fits her just fine, she doesn't need any alterations at all. Like that makes me feel any better! I'm competeing with a girl who is 5'10 and could be a freakin model to see who is gonna look better in the dress!!!! Anyways I hate life and I'm going to look like a big fat piece of crap at the wedding...that is if I can even fit into whatever the hell my dress winds up looking like!
Of course the wedding isn't my only issue right now, school is also the devil!!! My classes are just so random and boring this semester that I am putting in zero effort and that is going to bite me on the ass very, very soon! I've spent the first part of this semester text messaging people and doodling my way through every single class and now test time is starting to roll around...ut-o!!!! I had my first music test last week, a lot uglier than I expected, but I did take notes in-between the text messaging so I'm hoping I survived with at least a B. My first paper is due for my Africa class this Wednesday and of course I haven't even started it!!! I watched the five hours worth of videos and starting reading the endless chapters of the book, now I have to get crackin on writing the five page summary. I know I will get it done on time, but I just can't motivate myself to start. I feel like I can't get five minutes to relax until May, every second that I'm not physically doing something I'm stressing about not doing something or thinking about/ planning what I have to do next. Once May 2nd hits school is over and on May 12th the wedding will be over and life will be carefree....I hope.

Running Out of Time!!!!

AHHHH!!!!! There is less than one week of break left and I haven't accomplished half of my goals. I just bought my books for next semester the other night, which is always fun. I just love when one professor requires 5 different books for a stupid cognate course that isn't even in my major. Stupid liberal arts requirements lol!!! Anywayz this break is going by way too fast and between working small amounts and planning the shower and hanging out with my friends I feel like I haven't had more than five minutes to just sit and chill. I did manage to read 3 books over the break, but I started my 4th book this week, The Thornbirds, which I have no hope of finishing by next week. It's like 700 pages and I have like zero free time between now and Monday when I move back to Stockton. The wedding is like 120 days away and its sucking up all my time already!!! Today we accomplished a lot though. Karen got bridal shoes and we looked at China patterns. China is an odd thing...you never really use it, you're always afraid you're gonna break it, and there are like 3 million different kinds and they all look exactly the same...yet picking the right China pattern is a huge deal! I just don't get it lol! It's funny how the little shit turns into a big deal sometimes. Now I'm being a mo and trying to make a huge list of all the stuff I need to handle before heading back to school while I paint my nails and lounge in my footie pajamas!!!! That's right they make footie pj's for adults and santa/ mag got me a pair and they are heaven!!!! It's like being a kid again =)

Where did the time go???

Holy crap its 2007!!!!! Where did 2006 go??? While laying in bed today taking my post-party nap I was thinking about the past year. People always say you should survey the previous year and see where you went wrong and what you can do differently the following year. The only problem is I had a hard time remembering what the hell I did all year, and then I realized that in itself is not a good thing. I know in reality I did a variety of things....work, school, hung out with friends etc. But I guess I'm a little saddened by the fact that I didn't do anything extra special that really stands out in my mind. To make this long story shorter, I have decided that I have two resolutions this year. My first resolution is the same one I make for myself every year and I think in recent years I am actually getting better at keeping. And that is to stop sweating the little things in life. Getting all worked up about stuff I can't change is just too much stress and I don't need it! Also to expand this resolution for 2007, I'm going to try and always do what I truly want to do and not be fake. I'm so tired of people being phony or feeling like you need to be a certain way to fit in and I think that is ridiculous. I've decided for 2007 I want to be more like one of those people who does exactly what they want to do and doesn't give a damn what other people think. After giving this part some thought though I realized this could turn me into someone cynical and uncaring so I will only do this in moderation.
My second resolution and the reason I wrote this now very long winded blog in the first place is because I want to do several memorable and important things this year. So I've decided every month throughout 2007 I am going to do something I have never done before or something important that will benefit other people and/or society. I haven't yet figured out what these 12 or so things are going to be, but it's only 1am on January 2nd so I have 364 days to figure them out!!!

I love Christmas!!!

Christmas has come and gone and it was different than any other year, but fabulous in its own way. Karen had work again so we opened our presents on Christmas Eve. I made out well as usual..lots of clothes, barnes and noble giftcard, ihome, a snowbaby, the price is rite dvd game, and the usuals socks, candy and a toothbrush. And since my folks love to surprise me with something extra I woke up Christmas morning to find one extra present under the tree..a big one!!! A sewing machine!!!! I had asked for one, but really wasn't expecting to get one so I was very shocked and happy when I did. I'm a little scared though cause it looks very complicated. I hope I can read the directions and figure out how to actually use it! And in typical Mag and Jack fashion...a nice crisp benji franklin was waiting by my eggs and bacon on the kitchen table =)
I just love Christmas! I honestly don't even care about the presents that much its just such a laid back and fun day. I love the little things about Christmas, like having a nice family breakfast, seeing all the crazy relatives, laughing about the lame joke gifts the aunts buy each other, and of course this year watching the eagles!!!! Thank god they won otherwise my drunken family would have caused a riot probably!!!

There's Magic in the Air This Evening, Magic in the Air....

This is going to be a very happy blog because the universe is being so gooooood to Jackie right now. I think it all began about a week ago and since then practically everything has been awesome!!! The semester is over and it wasn't that awful in the end. Right now I have three A's and I'm waiting for my health and wellness grade. I'm praying for an A, but I'm thinking I'm gonna have to live with an A- or a B+ cause I was so pooped from my other classes that I slacked on the final. Oh well!!! I really just want to know my grade, but of course my professor is taking her sweet time posting them. Then again, if the grade is bad I don't wanna know cause they could just kill my spree of fabulous!!! I'm just glad the holidays are here and that the rest of my friends will be home shortly....I miss everyone!!!!
I'm really starting to think my spree of fabulous and good mood has something to do with the holiday season. It's amazing how into the holidays we all still become even when we are grown up. How you still watch the same cheesy movies and listen to the same songs you loved as a kid. Each year when the holiday season is approaching I always think about how much of a hassle shopping is and how little money I have to buy presents, but its the week before Christmas and none of that seems to matter anymore. Anyways I'm starting to ramble now, but I am just really full of holiday cheer and I'm kind of surprised by how much holiday spirit I have this year. I think maybe all the holiday movies put me into the spirit. I have watched all of my favorites this year- Elf, Muppet Christmas Carol, Polar Express, Christmas Vacation, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, and The Santa Clause....they are all soooo fabulous. If anyone hasn't seen one or more of these, get to it cause you're missing out!!!!
I'm almost done my christmas shopping which is another reason I am happy. I hope everyone likes what I got them!!! I have to pick a day this week and wrap like crazy. I'm also supposed to help Mag wrap for fun lol. Tomorrow is cookie day with Karen. We may have gone a little overboard this year. We promised a lot of people cookies and now tomorrow is gonna be hardcore. We are planning on making like nine dozen cookies...we will probably die halfway through, but it should make for a few laughs since Jack and Bailey will be getting in the way I'm sure!

Sigh of Relief

The semester is really almost over now. Today was absolute hell...two finals back to back..econ and crim!!! I seriously have wanted to die the past few days...I have been so stressed!!!! I have been staying up until 4am or later typing endless study guides and reading chapters and now it is all done!!!! It's both scary and rewarding walking out of a final exam. On the one hand you are so freakin glad that it is over and life can get back to normal, but it's also kind of scary to think that you can't do anything to change things now. Once the final is over that's it! I'm pretty sure I did well on these two today so that makes me super happy!!! Two more to go until freedom!!!! Next Thursday can't come soon enough!!!!
I got a parking ticket again today even though I was told I had special permission to park on campus cause of my disability so someone at Stockton is gonna be hearing from me in the morning!!!! It was quite a kick in the ass to be so happy that my finals were done only to walk out to my car and see that damn ticket!!!!! Since when is parking in a normal parking space a crime???? Damn rent-a-cops!!!!
I can't believe Christmas is sooo soon and I seriously have not bought any gifts!!!! I have two things purchased so far and I don't even know who I am giving the one thing to. I really need to kick things into gear when I get home next week...oh home how I love it!!!!! I can't wait to see everyone, eat real food, and sleep in my bed on the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss my double bed=)