My Middle Name is Drama

I don't know why I kid myself into believing that my life will ever be drama free. Every spring I think this summer will be drama free because I have amazing friends and what could go wrong..and every summer..BAM!!!! DRAMA!!!!! I'm guessing it is just me..maybe I do bring this all onto myself!!!
It's interesting that when the drama hits you really see who your true friends are. These past few months have been really tough and I almost can't believe some of the things that have taken place. I've kept a lot to myself because I'm a private person, but its been a tough road. Like I am always hoping that eventually I will grow out of these troubles, but it seems like everyone has drama no matter how old they are..the drama is just for different reasons.
I am normally totally against writing a blog that is too personal but tonight I just can't not say this. I don't even know if anyone reads this stupid thing but I'm saying this anyway...I don't want anyone who might read this to think this is about them..it is really based on no one person...this is simply based on a series of events that have occurred and seriously changed my views on my relationships and drama in general.
I realize now that drama is never going away and yes I am aware that I am partly responsible for all the drama in my life. Yes I am an extremely sarcastic person and I indeed talk shit on people when I am angry or just feel like it...for this I make no apologies. And I will not lie and say that I'm gonna change my ways. I can't say I always have a reason for talking shit on someone cause that would be a another lie, but I am tired of feeling judged for speaking my mind. When I am in the company of friends I am a very open person..everyone knows this...I trust my friends with my life and I say what I want. Frankly about 90% of the shit I say I would say to the person's face and most of it I have!!!! I guess when it comes down to it I am just one of those bitchy girls like in Mean Girls...but at least I own up to it. I never pretend to be someone I am not!!!! I talk shit on people and everyone knows it...most of the shit it just a joke anyway and I'm not holding grudges from the past...I really harbor no anger towards anyone in life from my past....that is about the only thing that getting older teaches you..time heals all wounds..grow up and move on!!!!
Okay well I really don't know why I am writing this!!! Basically I just want everyone out there to know I'm not a horrible person. Yes my life has drama..but if your reading this and trying to pretend your own life doesn't...you are only kidding yourself!!! Frankly I am almost 20 years old...it has taken me a long time to figure out who I am and now that I know it I'm not changing for anyone!!!! That saying about "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" is just so true to life!!! Whoever said that was one smart mother!!! So in conclusion..this is me..and thank you to all those who stick by me cause guess what...you matter.

Sleeping till Noon!!!!

Okay I really need to stop sleeping till noon!!! It makes it so hard to go to bed before like 4am...if you think about it I'm only sleeping 8 hours..but its just the totally wrong eight hours to sleep...like by the time I wake up, eat breakfast and shower and get ready to do something...its dinner!!! I figure once I start working...somewhere lol..that I will get a better schedule going!!!!
Anywho I haven't updated this blog in forever..cause I haven't been home and awake to do so in like days....I feel like all I do is come home to sleep!!! So let's recap what I've been up to...Well thursday we hung at Janine's and Steveo, Albert, Deanna and myself did the tour de delsea as steve called it...I call it the tour de fat!!!! I love fast food and I am now basically spending the last little bit of money I posess eating at every place everyday all the time!!!! Cause Mag has just stopped shopping and cooking...great!!! In other news I went shopping with the Mag yesterday and bought these awesome shoes and some cute shirts...I can't wait till the weather is warmer so I can rock all the cute summer clothes!!!! Next Saturday is supposed to be like 85 so I feel a shore trip is in order!!!!
As far as tv is concerned...Idol....I felt sorry for poor elliot..so ugly...but talented. I honestly can't decide who I want to win since Chris left I dont really care...Taylor is funny but Kathryn is good..I dunno!!! Lost...is still confusing but fabulous!!!! Will and Grace sucked and was a huge let down...the show really declined the past few seasons..its sad. ER was pretty fierce even though I didn't really follow it this season at all..I'm curious what will happen with Abby in the fall!!! The OC...all I have to say is...thank god!!!! Mischa can't act and being pretty isn't good enough lol..that show is fairly retarted!!! Last but not least..Greys!!!!! Omg best show on tv for real!!!! That double episode was amazing..my jaw dropped like 5 times lol...so sad that they killed Denny..that sucked..and Izzy better not quit or I will cry..she's my favorite...well thats about it...thank god the weather is pretty when tv takes a three month break otherwise what would people do with themselves!!!!

HEHEHEHE!!!!

Just kidding Steveo I know you didn't mean it!!!! But I said I was gonna write a blog about it so I did hehe!!!! =)

Steve is a big bully!!!

So at the mall today after lunch Steve mad fun of me for being 19 still and then later on insulted my sense of style!!! OUCH!!!! And this was after I helped him shop!!!! GRRRR!!!!!

Today Kinda Sucked

Today was just one of those do nothing days..but it kindof sucked. I felt sick so I just stayed in bed all day and read my book. It wasn't the best idea cause now I have hardcore cabin fever and I just spent the whole day doing way too much thinking. I'm so glad I have a lot to do tomorrow cause I need to get out of this house!!! Wednesday is officially my day to find a freakin job. So far I've been living off my savings and making money by doing lame tasks around the house like filing my grandmother's tax rebate forms and cleaning the cabinet under the bathroom sink that no one dared to do the past five years....yeah its been so much fun!!! But I can't live on like $25 a week all summer so its time to get in gear and find a job. My distant cousin is a night manager at Rite Aid so I might get a job in the pharmacy there...which will probably suck but at least its something.
On a more delighftul note.. I got all my grades online today and I managed to swing straight A's in all five classes!!! I was actually shocked as hell when I got my grades...this semester was really stressfull and it feels so good to know all the stress and staying up till 3am finishing papers paid off!!! I hope everyone else is as happy with their grades as I am!!!! Well that's about it for now...I'm gonna get to bed after I read a little more of my book...Angels and Demons is very good and quite addicting..thanx to eveyone who recommended it!!!

Black Horse and a Cherry Tree

Its the first official day of summer and I'm slightly bored. I spent the day in Philly with the Mag and Marge. I got to hang out with my godfather and little cousin Ashley so that was cool. She is about to turn 6 and she is almost as tall as me...sad...but I am the same height as her dad so hopefully she will just stop growing lol!!! Other than that visit I spent the day hunting for jobs...it is tough!!! I don't mean to sound like a bitch but I am not spending my summer working some lame highschool level job...but getting a real job is hard!!! I left messages for a few places for hopefully I hear back from somewhere!!!
TV was amazing last night!!!! I'm glad Paris got sent home on AI..her speaking voice was so annoying I just wanted to slap the tv sometimes!!! And the Tree was amazing!!!! If they kill Nathan or Cooper I'm gonna be pissed..they are both too pretty to get killed off!!! I hate having to wait four months to find out what happens!!! And what can I say about LOST!!! WOW!!! I didn't see that ending coming at all...it was quite fierce. I dunno what to say about that show except I find it fascinating!!! And probably not for the same reason everyone else does...I find it amazing cause for the first 55 minutes of every episode I bitch about slow it moves and that it is never gonna go anywhere and then BAM!!! in the last five minutes they completely blow me away to the point where I'm tuning in again the next week...any show that can swing that for like two years must be doing something right!!!
Anywayz I am bored cause no one is home till tomorrow!!! I can't wait to see everyone!!!! I am so bored I freakin changed my aim profile cause I'm a big loser and I got tired of downloading stupid songs!!! I would be reading the DaVinci Code right now if my lame Aunt still didn't have it at her house..how hard it is to read one book in under two months...really!!!!
In my final thought for the night I have figured out my ultimate summer goal is to not stress about stupid shit!!! Cause recently I've been doing way too much of that and it just plain old sucks!!! I've decided to let everything just be!!! My reasoning is that I'm generally a good person so hopefully if I just keep doing my own thing then good things will happen!!! We'll see how long this lasts...

Freedom!!!!!!!

First off...I can't belive I am typing this from my bed..thats on the ground!!!! I've been home now for about 8 hours and its good to be home!!! But I already miss the roommates!!! But its sooo amazing to feel free and not have to worry about classes and stress..now I just have to find a freakin job and stress about grades..but I'm sure everything will be cool.
Speaking of jobs...if anyone knows anything good let me know!!!! Mag is on the hunt and I'm so affraid of what shes going to try and get me to do!!!! Karen offered to pay me to be her bitch all summer and take care of the dog and wedding plans..if I can't find anything better it might happen hehe!!!!
Well thats about it for now...I can't wait for everyone else to get home so we can party!!!! Till then I will just be unpacking until I die...I can't wait to switch bedrooms..I have no freakin space for all my crap..its so bad!!! I hate unpacking almost as much as I hate packing hehe!!! Alright time for bed!!! I'm going to philly tomorrow to visit Marge with Mag cause a free lunch is involved!!!!