My Middle Name is Drama

I don't know why I kid myself into believing that my life will ever be drama free. Every spring I think this summer will be drama free because I have amazing friends and what could go wrong..and every summer..BAM!!!! DRAMA!!!!! I'm guessing it is just me..maybe I do bring this all onto myself!!!
It's interesting that when the drama hits you really see who your true friends are. These past few months have been really tough and I almost can't believe some of the things that have taken place. I've kept a lot to myself because I'm a private person, but its been a tough road. Like I am always hoping that eventually I will grow out of these troubles, but it seems like everyone has drama no matter how old they are..the drama is just for different reasons.
I am normally totally against writing a blog that is too personal but tonight I just can't not say this. I don't even know if anyone reads this stupid thing but I'm saying this anyway...I don't want anyone who might read this to think this is about them..it is really based on no one person...this is simply based on a series of events that have occurred and seriously changed my views on my relationships and drama in general.
I realize now that drama is never going away and yes I am aware that I am partly responsible for all the drama in my life. Yes I am an extremely sarcastic person and I indeed talk shit on people when I am angry or just feel like it...for this I make no apologies. And I will not lie and say that I'm gonna change my ways. I can't say I always have a reason for talking shit on someone cause that would be a another lie, but I am tired of feeling judged for speaking my mind. When I am in the company of friends I am a very open person..everyone knows this...I trust my friends with my life and I say what I want. Frankly about 90% of the shit I say I would say to the person's face and most of it I have!!!! I guess when it comes down to it I am just one of those bitchy girls like in Mean Girls...but at least I own up to it. I never pretend to be someone I am not!!!! I talk shit on people and everyone knows it...most of the shit it just a joke anyway and I'm not holding grudges from the past...I really harbor no anger towards anyone in life from my past....that is about the only thing that getting older teaches you..time heals all wounds..grow up and move on!!!!
Okay well I really don't know why I am writing this!!! Basically I just want everyone out there to know I'm not a horrible person. Yes my life has drama..but if your reading this and trying to pretend your own life doesn't...you are only kidding yourself!!! Frankly I am almost 20 years old...it has taken me a long time to figure out who I am and now that I know it I'm not changing for anyone!!!! That saying about "those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter" is just so true to life!!! Whoever said that was one smart mother!!! So in conclusion..this is me..and thank you to all those who stick by me cause guess what...you matter.