The End is Near

The end of this school year is very bittersweet for me. While I am of course excited for summer and being done with classes, it is hard to think about having to leave in a week. This time next week I will be home a whole day already. Where did the last three years go? I can't believe I'm going to be a senior in a week. Even more than that I can't believe I am leaving this apartment in a week. Living with three other girls isn't always easy, but for the most part it has been amazing and I don't want to ever leave. We always knew the two years would go by fast and they did. It's going to be very emotional packing up all the stuff and leaving next Tuesday because not only are we no longer living in this apartment, but we are no longer all living together. I can't believe the Bially is graduating...it's so happy, yet sad. It makes me want to turn back time to freshman year in the crappy dorm. Back then we hated the small rooms and crappy caf food, but looking back all I can remember is the craziness and the fun.
I'm really starting to feel like a grown up recently. I have been making a lot of changes recently and taking steps toward the future. It's funny how when you know you only have a year of safety left you realize that you really need to change all aspects of your life and become a grown up. I just finished filling out my senior internship application. I hope the board likes my essays and gives me a good placement. That could make or break my first few years post Stockton. I've been thinking recently that maybe I will go away for grad school. I figure I may never have another oppurtunity to just pack up and leave and there isn't really anything holding me here anymore. It will of course be hard to leave my friends and family, but I would be sure to keep in touch and I wouldn't stay away forever...maybe just two years or so.
Well that's about it for now. I'm so stressing about this weekend...loads of studying to do and a stupid africa paper to write! Once Tuesday evening hits life is less complicated...sad, but less complicated.

This Week Blows

This week blows a whole lot. It's only Tuesday morning and already a lot of bad stuff has happened. Clancy passed away from cancer on Sunday and even though I wasn't that close to her or the boys the past few years it still sucks. When someone dies it makes you think about everyone in your life that has died and that is just always depressing. I didn't get emotional when I heard about her passing, but I think that is just because I feel very detached from my family while here at school. I'm sure the funeral on Thursday is going to be very diffcult since my aunts and uncles and my folks are going to be a mess. Dealing with death is so terrible it kind of makes me wonder why I am choosing hospice as my first choice for my internship next fall. I hope I am as tough as I think I am so that I can remain emotionally stable while helping my clients. Bottom line is that cancer sucks and I don't get how people can watch someone they love die of lung cancer and then light up a cigarette. I don't think I will ever understand that appeal of smoking and honestly I hope I never do.
Today was another bad day with all that happened at Virginia Tech. It's so scary to think that something so random can just happen to people my age. It was awkward sitting in class today thinking that the exact same thing could happen at any college, including Stockton. I don't understand how one person could ever be so angry that they felt the need to kill so many innocent people. It sounds terrible, but situations like this really make you look differently at the people sitting around you in class that you really know nothing about.
Anywayz onto happier things. This time tomorrow night my Africa paper will be finished and I will be much happier. The end of the semester doesn't seem to be going too badly. I just want to be done with all of this and have four months to do nothing. The wedding will be here before we know it. This weekend is Berto's big party so I'm looking forward to that and seeing everyone. I'm focusing on the good to get me through this awful week.
The only good news I got today was that Janine and I are getting our seeing eye puppy on May 2nd...well technically it's Janine's puppy, but since I will be living with the beast for 9 months I am part owner/ babysitter. We don't know her name yet, but its a female german shepard. I wish they let us name the dog...hopefully she will have a cool name. And since today is her day of birth I will conclude this blog by wishing Janine a happy birthday!!!! woo hoo for the roommate!!!