I'd dance in a storm with my best dress on...Fearless

The past week has been so great I almost feel as though I might wake up and none of it will be real. It was one week ago tonight that I finished up my job. I feel like I haven't been there in years and I'm not as sad about it as I thought I would be. I mean I do miss my residents and staff terribly, but that job was really weighing me down. I feel completely different since leaving...I'm sleeping better and my skin has even cleared completely...may just be a coincidence, but they do say stress can cause breakouts...who knows... I guess the stress of coordinating schedules and basically having the fate of 13 residents on my shoulders is a lot to deal with at the age of 22. I have still being talking to my relief manager so I got updates and things seem to be running pretty smoothly. It is interesting though, my leaving may have started a trend because two other staff put in their two weeks notice since I left last weekend...probably just another coincidence.
Besides having a week of job-free relaxation this week was also Christmas which went fabulously well. We opened our gifts on Christmas Eve with Karen, Kevin and Gram here which was nice as always. We had a nice dinner and after opening gifts we went to 10:30 mass. It's sad to think it was our last Christmas Eve mass at St. Bridget's Church...unless we want to brush up on our Spanish for next year. The church was as beautiful as always and the choir was really good which is my favorite part singing all the Christmas songs. I got everything I wanted from Santa (aka Mag and Jack) this year so I guess I was a good girl = ) Mostly just clothes...my big gift was a new down comforter, duvet cover and super fabulous expensive sheets for my bed. I love good linens since I spend lots of free time lounging on my bed. I'm pretty sure everyone liked the gifts I got them as well. No one asked for the receipts so I take that as a good sign.
The best part of the past week has been seeing my friends and hanging out like old times. Spending time with them again makes me realize that no matter how far apart we might be at times or how much we change we will always be able to come back together and it will be like nothing has changed at all.
This past week I have also become obsessed with watching movies. I have been watching tons of movies on TV and online randomly. Since I have the next month off and they were having a free trial I signed up for Netflix. I made a huge list of movies for my "queue" so now I am just waiting for them to send the first one. I figure I can swing the $8.99 a month if I like it. Now that I have the DVD player in my new bedroom television I figure I should watch more movies instead of falling asleep to sit-com reruns that I have seen two billion times. We will see how it goes...I'm excited about the idea of seeing lots of classic movies that I have always wanted to see but never motivated myself to go rent from the video store.

Just Keep Dancing

Tonight was my last night at work. I can't believe I won't be going back there in a few days. The time since I put in my letter of resignation has been surreal. I found out about three weeks ago that my old boss Suzanne wanted me back at the nursing home where I was an intern during college. While I loved my current job, I really could not turn down the offer. First of all I would actually be using my degree in Social Work and second I would have my own office and weekends off...huge selling points!!! So I gave my notice and here I am. Telling everyone I was leaving was really difficult. Even though sometimes the stress of the job drove me nutty and the silly policies the main office kept raining down on us were insane...I really LOVED my residents and staff. It was very comforting though to hear how missed I am going to be and how people thought I was wise for taking the offer. Tonight saying goodbye wasn't easy though. I became so comfortable and knew everything and it's scary to leave all of that behind. It felt like I was turning over my own apartment (my faux office) when I left. I had to hand in my keys and everything =( The worst part was saying goodbye to the residents. A few of them cried and I got a lot of really big hugs! One of my residents mom's bought me candle holders and a plant which I thought was really sweet. And two of my residents got me goodbye cards. I told them I would come back to visit and I hope it's a promise that I actually keep. Going back to places after you've left can sometimes feel awkward, but I may give it a try at least once and see how it goes. I gave a few residents who asked for it my cell phone number...a decision I may later regret lol but oh well! For now I have a few weeks off and I can't wait to spend them with my family and friends and enjoy the holidays.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

Today was such a stressful day and surprisingly it was my day off!!! Not being at work sometimes just makes things worse because I am not there when the shit hits the fan so then my staff calls me to get my advice or complain about things and I only get half the story. Today was a very crazy day for them and everyone is getting super stressed and mad at each other. I'm really hoping we can work out all the drama so that we can go back to being one big happy family. If not, going to work isn't going to be nearly as enjoyable as it once was. The staff meeting this Wednesday is going to be interesting because my asst. manager and I are going to have to be tough and lay down some serious guidelines. It really sucks sometimes being in charge of 16 other people. Don't get me wrong I do sort of enjoy the power (who wouldn't) and the ocd side of me likes to be in charge and keep order, but with the power comes all the blame. I know in Spiderman Toby says, "With great power comes great responsibility", but I'm pretty sure the truer statement should read..."With great power comes large amounts of blame." What being the manager these last few months has taught me is that you can't be liked by everyone and that you really need to make sure people do their job who work under you otherwise you get blamed for everything that goes wrong. But just to clarify, despite this small rant, I still really love my job and can't believe that I've been there for 6 months in a few days....where did the time go???
I haven't written on here in a long time because I've been so busy with work and other things. Jack's retirement party well fabulously to update from my last entry and he was totally shocked! The only slight issue was that due to a non-working sound system at the hall the 4 mixed cds I created of all his favorite songs were unable to be played...aka like 15 hours worth of my time was wasted, but at least Jack got a nice collection of cds as part of his gift.
Right now on my days off I'm gearing up for the holidays and trying to get shopping done early since I will likely be working crazy hours as the holidays approach and staff calls out more. I have some really great ideas for some people and no clue what to buy others, but it is so nice to not have to sweat over spending a decent amount of money on gifts for the first time ever. I'm really excited to be able to get my loved ones really nice gifts and I am trying hard to get things that they will love, but that are also meaningful. I'm also trying to come up with great ideas for small things I can get each of my 15 residents and possibly small items for my staff...if we don't go through with the pollyana idea. I really do like holiday shopping and giving to others more than I like receiving. I really never would have thought years ago that I would feel that way but as you get older I guess that's just how things go.
The main reason I can't wait for Christmas is because everyone will be home again!!!! I miss my friends so much it's seriously killing me. I was looking at all my old photos on my laptop today and almost cried. I can't believe I haven't seen some of them in 3 months!!!! I hope we all never have to go this long again without seeing each other. I can't wait to all be together and do crazy things at Christmas!!!!
Well I guess that's about it for now. Even though I was off today and had nothing planned my day turned hectic so now I am exhausted. I'm going to read a little bit of my new Wally Lamb book and get to bed. Yes, his third book came out, "The Hour I First Believed" and it is fantastic so far, but I'm only 100 pages in. Wally is definitely one of, if not my favorite, authors. Night all =)

Last Woman Standing

It's official...everyone is back at school and I am still at home. It's so strange to be working full time and not going to classes anymore. I feel very grown up and at the same time it's a little sad. I wish everyone was still at home with me because it is going to be difficult to distract myself on my days off. So far things haven't been too dull with planning the surprise retirement party for Jack and visiting Gram lots. Plus days off give me a chance to unwind from the craziness that my job can be, but I do still really love it despite what people might believe.
The party planning is going really smoothly. I got Jack the best present ever the other week and Karen and I picked out all the party supplies this week. Next week I need to work on the photo collage and mixed cds. To save money we decided instead of hiring an annoying DJ we will just make several mixed cds full of Jack's favorite songs and play them in the background of the party. I was up until 3am last night compiling a list of classic oldies and classic rock songs and so far have about 80. I think I will add about another 20 or songs and be done with it. I included all of my dad's favorites and I think he will really like it. Plus the cds are like an extra gift to him cause he can just keep them afterwards. Once the cds and collage are done my assignments for the week of the party include ordering the cake and picking it up, making desserts with Karen the day before, and setting everything up the day of. Thank god I make the schedules at work and gave myself off Friday and Saturday so I can help set everything up. I just hope Jack is really surprised!
Besides the party and shopping like it's my second job, my other current distraction in life has been reading. I am going through like two books a week recently so it's a good thing I let myself get totally backed up on my summer reading earlier. Now I have a whole stack of books that I am quickly catching up on. Right now I am totally addicted to the Twilight Series and it is all Deanna's fault! I am at the end of the 2nd book and I am completely hooked! I ordered the 3rd and 4th books on Amazon, but they won't be here for another few days! I am going to finish the 2nd book before bed tonight and will be in serious withdraw until they arrive early next week. I may not survive! In conclusion, my friends need to come back home to me before I become any more of a shopahaulic/book nerd than I already am!

Hello Again World

Wow! It has been ages since I have written in this blog or read up on anyone else's blogs. This summer has been in a word...hectic! To fill in anyone who still might read this I graduated of course and was lucky enough to get a great job on the same day I moved out of my apartment. I am the residential manager at a group home for the developmentally disabled. It isn't exactly the field I saw myself starting out in because my typical population has been gerontology, but I have really enjoyed the job so far. It can be stressful at times though because of silly little company politics that get in the way or state regulations that can drive us all crazy. On the plus side, I work with really great people and my residents never stop making me laugh on a daily basis.
The only downsides I have found to being a grown-up so far are lack of free time and paying bills. I got a new car in July...a beautiful black Toyota Solara convertible and now a decent portion of my hard earned dinero is going towards car payments and insurance for her, but it's worth it to have a new pretty car to cruise around in.
I decided I should update this blog today since I haven't since like May and so many new developments have occurred since then. Life after college has been good so far but it feels so strange to not be getting ready for school again right now. Everyone else is packing, moving and stressing out and I am sitting by and just watching. It's a bittersweet feeling because as happy as I am to a college grad a part of me misses the excitement of apartment shopping and the care-free college lifestyle. I am turning 22 in a little over a week and I am really starting to feel old. Not actual old of course, but not a child anymore old. And since all of my friends are moving back to school in the weeks to come I will have a lot more free time on my days off so I guess starting up the blogging again might have been a good idea.

Every Ending is Just a New Beginning

So I am officially done college and it is a very strange feeling. I feel rather accomplished, but at the same time it feels like I never really did any of it...maybe having an actual graduation ceremony and diploma will help it all sink in. I actually finished super early...I've been done since Tuesday and since none of my other friends are done at Stockton I came home for a bit to take care of important issues rather than sit in the apartment watching tv and sleeping 14 hours a day. At the beginning of the week I had no idea how much there would be to do when I got home....
This week has been very good and very bad all at the same time. I made a ton of progress on the graduation party. I picked the menu and got most of the supplies (found all red and black plates, cups, table clothes etc....super exciting!). I also went shopping today and got a few presents I need to pick up for people and found graduation shoes! I love crossing items off my ever growing to-do list! Once I am moved out of the apartment a lot of my to-do list will be completed I hope and life will calm down a bit. I also got my new cell phone this week and programmed it and Mag's new cell. I now have a green env and Mag has a pink razr...lame but true....she picked it herself! And I am totally in love with my phone and how texting is now easier than ever..as if I wasn't already obsessed with texting before..thank god for unlimited! Other good news for the week...I had a job interview on Friday that I think went pretty well so hopefully good news will follow!
And for the bad portion of the week....my Gram is in the hospital. She went in on Wednesday cause she wasn't eating or drinking and we forced her to go in and get fluids put into her. She really didn't want to go and I forced the issue being my social worker self. Of course they kept her cause she was in bad shape and she has been there ever since because of the pain in her face and the lack of eating and drinking secondary to the face pain. The worst part is because of being in bed for three days she is starting to lose mobility and decline quickly. She is now waiting to move to a rehab floor, but she has to get stronger before she can even do that. She seemed a little better today when we went up but still not great. I know I worked with older adults for the past year, but it is different when it's your own grandparent. At first I questioned my decision to have her go to the hospital, but I know she needed to go and that I did the right thing. She might have declined like this either way, but it sucks to think that my decision might have caused it. Spending everyday at the hospital wasn't exactly part of my plan for starting off my post-college life...but then again this is exactly how my summer started last year as well and then we had a wedding in a week to deal with. Hopefully everything works out for the best with all of this and life starts to quiet down soon. A few minutes to breathe in the next few days would be nice....

Where Did The Time Go???

I can't believe that there is like three weeks of college left??? I just finished my last two group presentations ever at Stockton and I'm soooo happy about it! I hate working in groups when you don't get to pick the groups yourself. And of course every professor gives the same lecture about how in the "real world" you don't get to pick who you work with, but that is very little comfort when I'm freaking out about people not sending me there portion of the project until the morning of!!! I'm just so glad to be done with it. I had been stressing about this stupid Gero presentation for the past two weeks! I can't wait to just unwind and relax this weekend....and consume a LOT of alcohol!
I only have 6 more days of class and 6 more days of work and there is like 25 days left till graduation! I don't know where the past four years went...I literally feel like I just moved into the shoe-box dorm last week and here I am graduating. I definitely think leaving Stockton and moving out the apartment will be bittersweet. I've had an amazing time the past four years, but a large part of me is so ready to move on. I have become very comfortable with the college lifestyle and I will miss my four day weeks, staying up till 3am, and regular afternoon naps but I am curious to get into the real world and see what else is out there for me. I am still on the job search and I do have some promising leads so hopefully some good news will be coming my way soon!

So Much Ground To Cover

Ok so I haven't updated this piece in forever and so much has happened. The reason I haven't updated in so long is because life has been super crazy....when it rains it pours!!!! I am back at school for the first time in two weeks because I was home for spring break and then an extra week with a nice case of pneumonia. I actually left the apartment early the Friday before spring break because I was dying when my really bad head cold and lost voice turned into a respiratory infection....so much fun. So I spent the past two weeks living like a vegetable on my folk's couch. Much of the first week I was too sick or sleeping to care but the second week pretty much sucked. I really hate missing class/work so missing three days was a lot! Luckily I managed to rally by this past Friday and get back to work just for the day! So long story short my final spring break ever was not at all fabulous or glamorous...but I guess it's just lucky I didn't make any big vacation plans like I had contemplated doing in the fall.
Now that I am feeling better things are getting crazy because it's only a month till graduation and I still have so much left to do. Since I have been sick a lot this winter I missed a few days at my internship and now I have to catch up on hours which means for the next three weeks or so I'm going to have to work Fridays aka bye bye four day weeks =( Plus my classes and getting ugly and all the big stuff that is due is coming up real soon. Then there is the whole I will be a college graduate in a month and I don't have a job! I posted resumes online on two different sites and sent resumes to like 8 different places that are hiring but nothing has panned out yet. I actually got an interview three weeks ago for a hospital position in Philly, but I had to cancel it since I didn't think showing up on oxygen would look too good! I guess it that job wasn't meant to be obviously but not even getting to go on my first grown up interview cause I was sick kinda blows hardcore! So basically the job hunt continues....
In other news...I went to NYC yesterday with the family and faux family to see WICKED! I had already seen it in Philly with Janine but it was so fabulous I asked Mag to get me tickets again for Christmas! Our seats were so good and everyone else hadn't seen it and really loved it too! I honestly think it's the best thing on Broadway that I've seen and I've seen quite a few! After the show we went to dinner at Carmines which was fabulous as always. I also got to ride in a cab in NYC which I don't recall ever doing before unless I did it when I was really young so that was fun! I know a lot of people bitch about NYC being crowded and not being able to get around but I enjoy walking slow and just watching people so I think its fun, but even though I like it I would not want to live there....well that and I couldn't afford it. Everything in New York is like double what it costs in NJ....it's nuts!
In other random news today I rediscovered my love of Hawaiian punch! Mag bought me a pack of cans cause it was on sale to bring to school. I thought she was nuts at first for buying it but after drinking a can I have officially brought back my childhood love for it....lame but true.
I should get to bed cause I have a very long week ahead so I leave anyone eading this with a thought that I've been pondering all week. It is so easy to see someone else's flaws and yet so hard to see our own. After we hang out with people we are so quick to say something negative about them once they leave our presence, but do we ever really think about what they are saying about us??? I think everyone should take a few minutes to think about what they could be doing that annoys others and try to focus on being a better/less annoying person when they are around others. If everyone worked on ending just one of their own annoying habits/traits rather than bitching about other people's maybe we'd all get along a little better. I may not have worded the previous statement as well I would have if I wasn't dead tired but I think I got my point across.

Without Anyone Holding My Hand

A lot has happened this past week or so. Last week I spent my days laying on my folks couch thanks to a nice case of bronchitis. I've never had it before and it wasn't quite as much fun as pneumonia, but it was a close second. My doctor gave me some steroids so it would go away faster and I would stop wheezing. Long story short I spent the first three days or so in a ridiculously hyper state of being. I started taking the pills on Friday and from Friday night until about Tuesday I had slept a total of 11 hours. I will admit it was pretty cool to feel like I could run around like crazy and sleep three hours a night and function normally, but now that I stopped the pills this morning I am kinda crashing and that is less fun. Monday was probably the funniest day of the six. I came home from work super hyper! I was talking faster than usual (which is like warp speed as anyone who knows me knows) and I was being really crazy. I'm pretty sure I scared the crap out a few people...which is always fun. Anyways now that my adventure is over I am kind of sad to see the energy go, but also happy to start sleeping more than 4 hours a night and being able to take naps again =) So the lesson here kids is don't take the roids lightly...they are pretty intense even in small doses!
I'm feeling very independent these past few days. I really feel like I'm getting things organized and being a grown-up. I've been taking my vitamins, flying solo a lot more at work, and staying on top of the million little things on my to-do list. I realize these are not huge things in life, but I figure you gotta start small. Maybe another reason I'm feeling grown-up is because I have the apartment to myself all weekend. It's a completely different feeling to always have a roommate and then live alone for bit. I don't think I could ever live alone all the time because I'd miss having someone to talk to randomly, but I guess for now some alone time to relax and just be is nice. I'm going work on looking for jobs this weekend and trying to get some interviews lined up for over spring break. It's only 70 days till graduation today so I guess I'd better get rolling...and yes I am totally keeping count!

Will I Survive the Next 40 Days???

It's that time of year again....Lent! This year Janine and I have come up with the ultimate thing to give up for Lent. This will by far be the longest and most difficult 40 days ever. We have decided that we are not going to reveal what we have given up though because if we tell people we fear that they would just try to sabotage us. Since we are both giving up the same thing we are going to keep an eye on each other to make sure we don't cheat. Their are penalties for cheating. If we break our goal the following day after the slip I am not allowed to eat my chicken bites and Janine can not eat her chicken wraps. This may sound really lame to others, but Janine and I are too lazy to cook and we both live on these foods like 6 days a week so it's a big deal to us. We also decided that since we are most likely to slip and break this plan during a night of drinking that if that happens we must take a shot right then and there. So bottom line....it's gonna be a long and interesting forty days. Janine has already slipped once and it's been 14 hours...no chicken for her tomorrow....I'm sure I will soon fall as well.
In other news...I've been doing the school thing for a few weeks now and it's going pretty well. I only have the two classes this semester so life is less stressful. My classes this semester are very focused on presentations. I have like 5 total for both classes. This doesn't really bother me cause I don't get that nervous when presenting, but some of them are really long like almost an hour each and that means a lot of research will have to be done on 5 separate topics. Other than that classes are good. I'm glad my night class is really funny and relaxed because I knew I was going to dread having a night class again after not having one for like a year, but since it's not a stressful class it isn't as difficult to drag myself to campus two nights a week.
I've also started back at work and that's going really well. All my residents told me how much they missed me over break and for people with dementia to notice that you were gone and be able to remember your name and who you are when you return after a month means you made an impact....so that makes me happy. I really love my residents so I'm going to be super sad when I have to say goodbye in May. Over the break a few of the residents passed away, which is always a huge bummer. It sounds terrible, but I do have a few favorite residents that I think are awesome and I was thankful that all of them were still there when I got back. It is kinda bad to play favorites, but it's just human nature to click better with some people. If any of my favorites passes away I'm sure I will be a mess. It's just part of the job when you are working in a nursing home, but it's still really sad to see the family crying. I don't think you can ever get use to it really.
In other news...I'm officially looking for jobs. I am finishing up my resume this weekend and I'm going to start looking online and in the paper for jobs. My boss said she would keep an ear open for jobs and write me a good recommendation so that's exciting! I just really need to find something before I get kicked off my parent's health insurance. It's going to be so weird after graduation going to a real job each day instead of going to school, but I think I'm ready. I like going to my internship two days a week a hell of a lot more than waking up to go to class at 8am..so I think that's a good sign.
In conclusion, I am so happy that the Giants won even though I am not a NY fan. My theory is that I am a Philly fan and since we are always the underdogs I enjoy always rooting for the underdog. And bottom line that game was friggin' awesome!!!! Superbowl XLII was definitely the best Superbowl I can remember watching....hopefully next year is just as exciting and who knows maybe next year the Eagles will make it there!

Walk Me Through This World, Don't Leave Me Alone

I can't believe I will be back at school this time next week and already done my first day of class for my last semester as an undergrad. I seriously don't know where the four years went and how I got to this point. It's all kind of a blur but I'm happy to be almost done because I think it's time to move on. I would be slightly happier if I knew where I was going to be come June but I guess I'll have to wait and see. I've decided that I am going to apply to grad school because I really want to just get my masters over with so I can have it and then get a great job in like two years. I will still need to find a job come May, but I will have to find a place that is really willing to work with me and give me flexible hours. So this next semester will consist of job hunting and grad school applications.
This winter break has been interesting to say the least. A lot has changed these past few months and I guess it is all for the better, but at the moment it doesn't feel that way. Nobody likes change and it is so hard to let go of things that are so important to you. I know that change is necessary, but finally deciding to make a change in life is never an easy thing to do. I feel like over this break I basically came to the realization that I am officially becoming a grown up and that I can no longer stay tied to the past. I'm trying to focus on the future right now and making sure I wind up where I want to be in the next year or two. I've realized that the most important thing when a change comes is to lean on those around you. My friends have been so great recently and I've realized that keeping relationships alive is really what's most important. So I'd just like to say thank you to all my friends and that even if we don't get to talk or hang out as often as we'd like you are all very important to me and I'd be lost without you.

This is our town, this is where we're meant to be..

I can't believe another year has come and gone. 2008 just sounds so weird. I remember sitting in my basement with my friends watching the summer olympics in 2004 and thinking holy crap in 2008 when the next summer olympics happens we will be college graduates! Where did those four years go??? They have been so fun and I can't believe that come May it's all over. I never want to leave Stockton or my apartment!!! We had everyone over last night at the apartment to celebrate New Years Eve! It was a really great night. Not everyone that I love could make it but I had most of the important people there so it was great. I love being with my friends and just hanging out and having some drinks. We always spend the entire night laughing at each other and all of the weird things we do and say. I love laughing till my eyes tear....it sucks cause your makeup runs but who cares hehe.
I can't believe how fast this break is going. Christmas and all its magic are over. It was nice as usual but this year feels like it went by especially fast! On the Eve we went to dinner and then to mass at 10pm....Christmas Eve mass is my favorite thing becuase I love the music and how everyone is so friendly and excited for the next day. We had Christmas at our house which makes this slightly more chaotic but I prefer having it here cause Mag in my opinion makes a rocking holiday dinner and I love all of the decorations we have in the house. Our house is typically described as the place where Christmas threw up and that's just the way I like it. I got pretty good loot from Santa...clothes, fabulous boots, cash, small coach bag, my light blue perfume. The perfume was one of my favs because I haven't worn that scent in like two years and I missed it so!
We watched Superbad last night after the ball dropped...I forgot how freakin funny that movie was...love it!!! It was the last movie I've seen in a theater so hopefully I will see something over the break! I would like to see Juno but I really hate spending so much money to see movies which is why I don't go that often. Over the break I also want to go to Dave and Busters, pf changs, atlantic city again, the continental, tomo, read a few more books, organize grade school applications and learn to use my sewing machine...we'll see how much of that list gets done!