You Can Give It, But Can You Take It

Christmas is almost here. Five more days and I am actually done my shopping thanks to two very successful outtings. It is true that when you are older you actually have more fun buying things for others than getting gifts yourself. I am so excited to see people's reactions when they open the gifts I picked for them. I really tried my best to buy thoughtful, nice items. I always follows my key rule to shopping : never buy anything for others that you wouldn't want/ wear/ use yourself. This year I really spent more than I should have on a few items, but they were just too fabulous to pass up. Hopefully everyone appreciates the effort I put in! Tomorrow is wrapping day...not only do I have to wrap all of my stuff, but I have to wrap everything for the Mag cause she has work all week. On the bright side, she doesn't make me wrap my own presents lol. I'm so excited for Christmas and seeing all of my family that I don't get to see very often. Sometimes it seems like Christmas sneaks up on ya but this year I've been pretty prepared. Karen and I even watched the Muppets Christmas Carol together and made our cookies already...that pretty much makes it officially the holidays at the McGeehan casa.
On a random note...I was thinking about how much advice I dish out on a daily basis and how life would be so much easier if people could take their own advice. Sometimes I find it fascinating when people ask me for advice on certain subjects. Don't get me wrong I love that people respect my opinion enough to ask for it, but I feel like I am sometimes clueless in that area and don't have my own life figured out so why would they want my advice.? My basic questions are why is it so much easier to be objective when thinking about other people's issues and why is it so difficult to take one's own advice??? There isn't really an answer to these questions as far as I am concerned, but it would be nice if once in a while I listened to my own advice and tried to uncomplicate my own life.
Lastly another random add-on.....everyone by now has heard about the Jamie-Lynn Spears pregnancy thing and while I hate the idea of commenting on celeb news...esp. from that family..I have to say....I get that accidents happen, but seriously if she got pregnant on purpose she is dumber than we originally thought. From the perspective of someone who spent the day taking care of a three month old...babies are work!!! Sure they are cute and cuddly and fabulous when they are sleeping or just laying in your arms. But the crying and spitting up and diapers aren't as glamorous. Basically everyone who thinks they want a kid should borrow someone else's for a few hours and then re-think their decision. Today reaffirmed for me that while I think kids are fab I don't want my own for about another 8-10 years =)

CHRISTmas

Okay so this blog is very unlike me because I am typically rather liberal when it comes to issues of religion, but this topic was brought to me today and I felt the urge to rant about it!!! I will be the first person to admit I am a "cafeteria Catholic" and that I have fallen off the going to church wagon, but I still consider myself to be a religious person. I still believe in God, prayer, and I know the true meaning of Christmas. Ya know the one that has nothing to do with Santa or shopping. I am just starting to feel like their is only a small minority of people left out there that focus on the actual reason behind Christmas and not the commercial aspect of it. I started thinking that if someone were to pole random people on the street I am willing to bet that a number of them wouldn't even be able to state the religious meaning of Christmas and why it was originally celebrated. I am getting a bit off of the topic I wanted to be on though. While I dislike the fact that most people celebrate Christmas for the wrong reasons, my main issue is with those who claim to be atheist and all anti-religion and then freakin go ahead and celebrate Christmas! Do they not understand the amazing irony in that???? I was listening to the radio today and this idiot woman was bitching because she is atheist and her town's post office hung light up stars in their windows! Not a nativy, cross, picture of baby Jesus or anything...but stars. She is causing a huge uproar because the stars represent the star of Bethlehem and that is religious symbolism in a government agency. I was listening to this woman go on and on and was amazed. I have never wanted to call into a radio station so bad in my life! And if I didn't have to go to class I might have actually done it! The best part of her entire rant was when the dj asked her what type of decorations would be accepted to her she said anything non-religious like santa, snowmen, trees, etc. Does this chick no realize the meaning behind santa??? I seriously wanted to send her some kind of Christmas education booklet. But her idiotic comment got me wondering how many people don't realize that without the Christian symbolism behind the holiday there would be no Christmas. Anywho this rant is getting rather long so in summary my message is...enjoy the holiday season and try to focus on the true meaning of Christmas instead of the commerical one. And for those who you who claim to be so anti-God and religion you might want to throw out the tree and create you own reason for getting presents in December so you don't continue to look stupid. In conclusion, I would say I'm sorry to anyone who has been offended by this blog...but I'm really not.

Not Gonna Write You A Love Song

It's almost 1am, I am sitting on my bed listening to my itunes, wearing my new christmas pj pants from target ($7.99 woo hoo) and I decided I had many a things to blog about so today...2 blogs for the price of 1!!!! The first one is about the random week I have had and all of the things I have discovered recently. The second is going to be a rant about the holiday season and the way people are killing christmas. Read the second at your own risk!
First off since I am in a musical mood I am giving my picks for good songs for the week. First off an oldie but a goodie since I saw the end of Love Actually the other day. BTW anyone who hasn't seen that movie should do so because it is freakin adorable and puts you in a good mood. The best part is of course the end and the reason I love it so is because they play The Beach Boys "God Only Knows" it is a classic and it fits the movie so well, thus it is number one of my picks. Secondly is "Love Song" by Sarah Bareilles because it is the kind of song you can dance around to in your room while you get dressed in am. And it will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day..fair warning. Last on my list is the sountrack to Legally Blonde the Musical. I know that sounds sooo lame but I have become slightly obsessed with it since watching it on MTV a while back when I was putting off doing a paper (typical Jackie fashion). The soundtrack is very catchy and fun to belt out while driving in the car since my radio is officially dying in Maylasia....she is ten years old, but the radio is only 5 so I don't know why it's so bad! I'm thinking it has something to do with the black hole of radio that is Galloway Twp. I hate not being closer to Philly! FYI shore radio stations suck! People from down here won't agree, but I think its cause they rarely hear Philly stations. Anywho those are my picks...take em or leave em.
Two random things that happened to me this week....I saw an old man get pulled over at 12pm on a Tuesday and forced to do a soberity test! And I'm pretty sure he flunked! It was so awkward sitting there in traffic and watching the whole thing go down. I mean you have a serious drinking problem if you are wasted at 12pm on a Tuesday. But I guess it's good that cops are doing their job well. The other random thing was that in Gero class today we were talking about relationships and the prof divded the men and the women into groups and made us answer questions. After we compared answers and had a huge discussion. The men started arguing when the women listed good communication skills as one of our assests. So I am taking it upon myself to explain to men two valueable lessons about what women mean when they speak. All 7 of the guys in my class heard it today and I think the rest of you need to..so here it is....# 1....IF A WOMAN SAYS SHE IS FINE SHE IS ANYTHING BUT FINE! AND #2...IF A WOMEN SAYS SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS, HER BIRTHDAY, VALENTINES, ANNIVERSARY ETC. THAT MEANS YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HER WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT SHE LIKES AND YOU MUST GO OUT BUY HER SOMETHING FABULOUS AND SURPRISE HER WITH IT. These are the two cardinal rules men should just write down or commit to memory...it would save them a lot of time arguing, back peddling, and buying apology gifts. Women sometimes try to deny that we play games, but I will admit it....everything about relationships is pretty much a game..so learn the rules.

Turkey Lurkey Dap

I'm sad to say Thanksgiving is already over =( But it was fabulous while it lasted =) Wednesday night was the best! Paying $15 to get in wasn't ideal, but I had so much fun that I did not care about the cover. Being in a bar with my big sis and her friends I thought was going to be awkward, but once she whipped out her credit card and bought shots for all of my friends I warmed up to the idea. Karen is such a hoot...that's why she's my role model. She has the ability to make anything more fun. When we hang out we never stop laughing. The only downside of Wednesday night was that I may have had a little too much fun on my first Thanksgiving Eve. I basically committed all the mistakes one should never make when drinking, but in my defense I am not a rookie...I know all of these rules and chose to ignore them. Some of the mistakes I made were my own fault and some I can blame on those I was with! I mixed way too many random drinks, I drank too many sweet tasting drinks, and I drank drinks that I didn't even know what was in them. I really need to stop letting other people order my drinks because it always turns out bad lol! Janine told our fabulous waitress that she wanted a strong drink that tasted not strong...that was the beginning of the end. The waitress comes back with these giant teal colored glasses filled with probably ten different things and we have no clue what they were. All I know is that it was teal, it tasted good and it was STRONG! And everyone was forcing me to drink it after I'd already had 5 shots and 4 other drinks! That my friends was the bitter end. We left the bar just before 2am and I have very little memory of anything after getting to the car. I woke up at 6:50am Thanksgiving morning sick as a dog. I was still wearing half of my outfit from the night before. I have never been that hungover in my life. I did not start to feel good again until about 4pm. I was able to enjoy my dinner which was nice, but I think Mag would have liked me to be a little more helpful during the morning hours instead of dying on the sofa bitching about the brightness of the living room. All in all the holiday turned out fine and Wednesday night was so fun that I don't really care that my hangover was yucky! Next time I will have to remember my trusty glass of milk though...maybe that will help with the hangover.
On the plus side my cheesecake came out fabulous and I did actually help with most of the cooking once I felt better! My apron looked fabulous!!!!! And so did my outfit!!! Last night we all got to hang out at Janines! I love my friends and can not wait to see all of them again over winter break! Two and half more weeks of school left! But for now I am still working on papers. Only two this weekend which is two less than last weekend so I can't complain. And Elf is on tv right now to keep me occupied while I type woo hoo!!!! So in closing....smiling is my favorite =)

O Christmas Tree

I love how a trip the dollar store can turn into a huge event. I had to hunt for a few items for my boss today and Janine and I wound up buying a million little christmas decorations and junk! We now have our very own Charlie Brown-esque tree. It is sitting on my never used side table in the living room. The poor thing is kinda sad looking though...the star for the top is like the size of th entire faux tree and the chord for it is too short so the star doesn't light. But the tree does add some much needed christmas flare to the place so I guess we can't complain. Even though Thanksgiving hasn't even happened yet I am already in the Christmas spirit because they have been playing my favorite Christmas movies on tv. I watched the Grinch and the Santa Clause already.....two of the best in my opinion! I can't wait for Elf to be on tv...oh how I love it sooooo!!!!!
Things have been running very smooth recently. School has been calm the past few weeks, but is now starting to pick up before the end of the semester. I have a presentation this week and three papers due the Tuesday before thanksgiving. Luckily I have been on top of them and already have all the info and research for two of them. I was suppose to actually write one of them this weekend, but of course I got distracted by tv, sleep, and shiny objects! Which means this weekend coming up is not going to be very fun! But I guess I can't complain because this weekend was great! No stress about school or work, got to have sushi with my Deanimal, and go to Ihop with the Delia girls! I love Tomo and Ihop!!!! I am obsessed with sushi and pancakes so to have both in one weekend was delightful = )
I can't believe how little time is left before Thanksgiving! I am ready though! I am off from work the day before so I can go shopping for last minute items, pick up Gram from philly, and make my cheesecake!!!! Hopefully it comes out well!!!! If everyone likes it I will probably make it again for Christmas since we are having both holidays at my casa this year! Or I guess I could change things up??? All I know is I can't wait to wear my apron and eat some turkey!!!!

It's an interesting feeling....

Not caring is really starting to work for me....I feel like I've become a little more relaxed about classes and work and I think its for the better. I'm trying to focus on just doing what I can and managing my time so I don't run myself into the ground. I think I have in the past been too hard on myself for not doing things perfect or for finishing all my tasks on time and now I'm starting to realize in real life shit happens and that's okay. Working at my internship has made me a lot more relaxed and I think its really making me a better social worker. I still care a lot about doing my work well and being on time, but I am starting to accept that I can't fix everything and that I shouldn't sweat all the small stuff. Even though I am feeling more relaxed I still haven't had much time to update this blog in forever. Things have been very busy at school and work, but its been a good busy. I had an interview with my sen sem professor today and she said some really positive and nice comments about how she feels I will be when I enter the field for real next year. It is always nice to hear supportive words and positive feedback so that pretty much made my day. The fact that my second class got out an hour early didn't hurt either. I can't believe this semester half way over...next week we are picking classes for our very last semester at Stockton....I am finally feeling very old!!! Where did the four years go???? I am excited to graduate, but a part of me doesn't want May to ever get here. Right now I am extremely torn about whether or not I should start grad school right after graduation or if I should take a year off. People keep telling me I will lose momentum if I stop, but I really don't see that becoming a huge issue. I'm not just going for a Masters because I should, but because I really do want to have one and maybe eventually a PhD. So taking a year off shouldn't alter my feelings too much and it would give me a chance to be in the field and earn some money towards tuition.
Other than the grad school issue everything is going smoothly. I am super excited about halloween!!! I found an idea for a very creative costume to wear to the party on saturday!!! I am also very excited because thanksgiving is approaching aka my fav holiday which means FOOOOOOD!!!!!! And look out cause this year I'm cooking!!! I even bought the cutest apron to wear so I look professional!!! I've been watching a lot of food network to gear up for the adventure. I am in charge of all side dishes and making one of the desserts! I am also in charge of keeping an eye on the bird, but not actually in cleaning and stuffing cause its too heavy for me to lift lol!!! Anyways it should be a great adventure!

Sunrise =)

Been a senior for like three weeks now and life is good. The apartment is fabulous, classes aren't too scary, and my internship is amazing!!!!! I really love saying that I'm a senior, I feel very accomplished and it usually shocks people since I look like I'm 15. My senior sem is by far my favorite class. I love being with all the sowk seniors and sitting in our circle talking about fieldwork and such. Even though it's at 8:30 in the morning I am always really hyper and talkative, which in this class is a very good thing. I had to do my presentation last week and I think it went really well. I was up in front of the class for over an hour...a little intimidating but after a while it was kind of fun. Maybe I'll try the professor thing when I'm old...I like the idea of running the show lol! My 10:30 gero class is pretty basic like most gero classes...I'm thinking about getting my gero certificate as a resume builder for grad school/ a job. My online class is whatever lol..why do I keep taking art classes as gen's is beyond me, but it seems easy if I can motivate myself to read the stupid chapters each week!!!!!
Being at my internship makes me know that social work is definitely what I want to be doing. I knew before that I loved my field, but of course like everyone else I had doubts if this is what I really wanted or if I could survive in a field that can be so emotionally draining. But after only three weeks at MM I am totally in love with it. The residents and staff are so amazing there and I really love not knowing exactly what each shift is going to be like. Everyday we have different things to take care of and people to meet with so it's always exciting. I'm starting to bond with a few of the residents now which is really nice. I am like 99% sure that I want a job with the elderly population when I graduate now. Hopefully my boss will help me find something since she kind of already hinted that she would =)
This semester is very busy but I'm adjusting pretty well. I am on a good schedule of waking up at 6:50am and going to bed at 11-11:30pm..which I never thought I'd pull off since everyone knows I like the night life...I like to boogie =) But things are going well and at the end of the day I get to come home to the pimp apartment...being off campus is great! I feel like a real grown up now since we pay rent and such lol. I am in luv with my fur white sofa and pretty room..and having my own bathroom!!!! I can't wait for everyone come down and visit now that we are settled in!!!!

IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!!!

I AM OFFICIALLY 21!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IN HONOR OF THIS HUGE EVENT THE FOLLOWING BLOG WILL BE TYPED ENTIRELY IN CAPS!!!! I HAVE BEEN 21 FOR AN ENTIRE TWO DAYS NOW AND IT IS FAB!!!! WE GOT BACK FROM ATLANTIC CITY THIS MORNING AND I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE WHEN I SAY WE HAD SUCH AN AMAZING TIME!!! IT WAS LIKE THE PERFECT WAY TO END THE SUMMER TOGETHER!!! I REALLY WISH EVERYONE I LOVE COULD HAVE BEEN THERE WITH ME, BUT I PARTIED ON DESPITE THE MISSING PEOPLE! THE HOTEL ROOM WAS REALLY AMAZING!!! THE TROPICANA IS DEF ONE OF MY FAVORITE HOTELS IN AC. THE ROOM WAS ACTUALLY BETTER THAN I IMAGINED AND WE FIT 6 PEOPLE WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM! I'M GLAD WE STAYED TWO NIGHTS BECAUSE ONE JUST WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ENOUGH! TWO WENT BY FAST ENOUGH =( BUT IT WAS A 21ST I WILL NEVER FORGET! I COVERED ALL THE IMPORTANT 21 EVENTS....I WORE MY FLASHING TIARA AND BUTTON THANKS TO KELLY!!! I DID SHOTS AT THE BAR...ONE OF WHICH WAS A MEAN SHOT THANKS TO EVIL STEVE LOL!!! ALL IN GOOD FUN THOUGH! I MET A RANDOM COUPLE WHO BOUGHT ME SHOTS! I GAMBLED AWAY MY MONEY AND DID NOT WIN...I WAS UP A LITTLE AT ONE POINT, BUT THAT GOT KILLED FAST HEHE! I ALMOST CAUSED A SECURITY INCIDENT WHILE COMPLETELY TRASHED ON THE CASINO FLOOR. I LOST MY BUTTON AT ONE POINT AND ALMOST GOT STUCK IN AN ELEVATOR. I ORDERED MY FIRST EVER DRINK WITH DINNER AT PF CHANGS....AKA MY SECOND FAVORITE RESTAURANT (2ND TO CRAB TRAP)....A KEY LIME PIE MARTINI THAT WAS FABULOUS!!! I STAYED UP TILL 5AM GAMBLING AND STALKING OUT THE FREE DRINK LADY NAMED KAREN WITH STEVE AND A DRUNKEN JANINE. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST I WATCHED A DRUNKEN JANINE TWEEZE STEVE'S EYEBROWS...WHICH IS ALWAYS ENTERTAINING!!!! AND ALL OF THIS WILL BE FOREVER REMEMBERED THANKS TO KELLY BECAUSE SHE IS MAKING ME A PHOTO ALBUM FOR MY PRESENT!!!! AS FOR MY OTHER AMAZING BIRTHDAY GIFTS!! MY FOLKS PAID FOR THE HOTEL ROOM, GAVE ME $100 TO GAMBLE WITH, AND HAD A CUSTOM NECKLACE MADE TO MATCH MY BIRTHSTONE RING!!!! I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE JEWELER TO FINISH MAKING IT!!!! MAG LET ME PICK THE NECKLACE OUT MYSELF SO IT WILL MATCH EXACTLY AND I WILL LIKE IT!!! MY BEST SURPRISE GIFTS WERE FROM JANINE AND KAREN AND KEVIN! JANINE TOTALLY SURPRISED ME THE OTHER MONTH WITH TICKETS TO WICKED IN PHILLY AND WE WENT ON THE 18TH!!! IT WAS SOOO AMAZING...DEF MY FAVORITE SHOW THUS FAR AND I HAVE SEEN QUITE A FEW SO THAT'S IMPRESSIVE!!! I WANT TO TRY AND GET TICKETS TO SEE IT IN NEW YORK OVER WINTER BREAK CAUSE IT WAS THAT GOOD!!!! AND KAREN AND KEVIN TOTALLY SURPRISED ME WITH MATCHING PERIDOT EARRINGS TO GO WITH MY RING AND SOON TO BE NECKLACE!!!! IN CONCLUSION TO THIS BIRTHDAY BLOG!!! I HEART BEING 21 AND I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS AND FAMILY EVER!!!!!! THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO WISHED ME A HAPPY 21ST...LUV YA!!!!!

2 more weeks!!!!

It is officially two more weeks until I am 21!!!!! I can't wait to never have to worry about being underage again!!!! I am slightly sad that my birthday is approaching so rapidly because it also signifies the end of summer =( I can't believe that I am moving into my apartment two weeks from friday!!!! School starting up again is always bitter sweet. I'm sad to say goodbye to my homies from home, but excited to see my stockton people again! I'm sad to leave behind Jack, Mag and my self cleaning casa, but excited to be on my own and party in the apartment!!! I'm sad to start class again, but excited that I only have one more year left and this year is gonna be really bangin!!!! Being a senior is pretty sweet. I only have three classes this semester and I lucked out and only need one book per class..my amazon bill has never been so cheap! I may actually wind up making more money from selling last semester's books then I spent buying these! That has never happened before!!!!
I'm also really excited to decorate in two weeks!!!! Janine and I have bought the cutest stuff for the apartment!!! The living room is going to be black and white which we decided because we fell in love with a white fur sofa at Ikea!!!! And I bought the cutest black ottoman to go with it from BB&B my favorite store in life because it seriously has everything!!! As does Ikea another one of my favs!!!! For my bedroom I went with a teal theme and a lot of color since the living room is black and white. And since I have my OWN bathroom that will be blue as well! The my own bathroom part is my favorite since I have never lived in a place with more than one shower...ever!!!!
Summer is ending really quickly...I feel like their isn't enough time to get everything in. I haven't seen half my friends in like two weeks..which totally sucks!!! I'm really glad everyone is stopping work soon and that we are all going to AC for my birthday!!! It's like a mini vacation together as a way to end our last summer before graduation!!!!

The hotel is officially open....

Last night was the first night at hotel mcgeehan and I think it went rather well if I do say so myself! Everyone got pretty happy thanks to Berto's "hide and seek". I had about three cups so I can attest to that fact that the stuff really sneaks up on you. I was a little dissapointed however that my jello shots didn't get finished. I guess 100 jello shots was just too much so I will remember to cut it down next time. Hopefully next weekend goes just as well as last night and more insane events occur. And hopefully no one catches any of them on film. What happens at hotel mcgeehan stays at hotel mcgeehan. And hopefully we finish off some of the massive amounts of alcohol we have left. We are doing well though we went from 4 handles of vodka to 2.
Summer is going by sooo quickly!!! It's only a month until my birthday!!!! I can't wait! I am doing pretty good at accomplishing my summer goals. I am working on buying furniture for the apartment! I can't believe we move in August 31st....it's soo soon! I have been doing good with my reading...started my 13th book of the summer today. It was such a nice relaxing day of nothing. It was about 3pm before everyone finally left and other than some cleaning up I did nothing all day besides watch movies, eat and nap on the sofa. I love having the house to myself it is amahzing!!!
In more important news, I went on my interview for my internship the other week and it went really well. My supervisor seems really nice and the place is pretty well kept and non-smelly for a nursing home. Some of the old people were so funny when I went on my tour. They were asking me questions about myself and kept trying to remember my name...probably so they can harass me and make me their bitch when September 5th rolls around. It's crazy to think that in the next year I will spend 400 hours at Mainland Manor. I should probably just get a room there so I don't have to wake up at 7am to get there from my apartment. Thank god I live down at school though cause 15 minutes is a lot nicer than 55 for a commute. Hats off to those who drive an hour to work everyday I would cry. I bitched about drving down twice in one week for my interview and work physical/ drug test. (I passed btw lol I'm clean). Anywayz I think it's gonna be a very interesting experience this semester...if only I was getting paid =(

Two Months Till My Birthday!!!!

Yay two months till my birthday!!!! I talked to my Uncle Charlie today and he said he is a Tropicana vip member so he is going to see if he can get the rooms cheap for me! I'm so excited for my birthday I can't wait to be 21!!!! I know once the excitement is over then 21 will be like any other year, but for now I'm enjoying the hype. I'm also extremely excited about the hotel mcgeehan! I'm thinking the whole facebook invite idea was pretty clever. I'm not gonna lie I made fun of people in the past for doing facebook invites, but they are pretty handy esp. for someone like me who hates calling people and talking on the phone. I hope everyone who said they are coming can actually make it. I sent the invites out early so people can save the date...hopefully it works! Either way it should be good times!!!
Summer has been great so far! I've read like ten books so far and I'm getting seriously addicted. I'm on to a new book like every three days. Which I consider to be impressive since I only read at night before bed. I love when a good book keeps you awake till like 2am as my James Patterson did last night. Beach Road started out a bit slow, but in the end totally shocked me! I can't decide if I'm more shocked by the book twist or that fact that I was shocked by James Patterson who I have recently found to be amazingly predictable with his books! I think I am enjoying his books again because I started reading some of his older stuff. Thanks to the good old thrift shop I've been enjoying some 1990's editions and they are actually better than the more recent ones.
4th of July weekend is this weekend and that means BBQs!!!! I'm very excited for Karen and Kevin's bbq on saturday and Laura's bbq tomorrow! I love burgers and all other bbq foods because I am a fat kid on the inside lol! Now I must go get ready everyone is coming over here tonight so we can meet Laura's fella! Hopefully things go well and we don't scare the poor guy with our loud American ways!

It's a strange feeling....

Something about this summer just doesn't feel right so far. Like something is missing or that I should be doing something more important, but I don't know what that is. I feel like all I do is go to work, run errands, and read books all day long. I already read seven books so far in the past month, at this rate I'm gonna have to hit up a thrift store or the library cause I can't keep a large enough supply. Anyways, not that there is anything wrong with having lazy afternoons, but I'm starting to feel old and I think 20 is too young to feel this old. I'm hoping things will seem more normal now that Laura is home and we are all hanging out tomorrow night. Maybe missing a member of the group is what has been missing from the summer so far. I just can't wait to do some of the typical summer stuff like go to the beach or party at Casa Romano and Hotel McGeehan hehe. Then I think it will really be summer to me.

In other news, I got my placement today for next year's internship. I will working at a nursing home in mainland. I really wanted a spot with hospice, as strange as that sounds, but I guess the nursing home is cool too cause I really like old people and I didn't want anything dealing with kids because I hate the idea of dealing with hyperactive kids and their idiot parents. I am glad I got the nursing home and it makes me really want to volunteer at the local nursing home down the street so I can get my feet wet before starting in September.

Another good thing that happened this week is we got to print out and view the proofs from the wedding and I don't look awful in them!!! Woo hoo for me!!!! I mean I know there are always a few bad candids in the bunch, but I was glad to see the more formal ones turned out pretty good. I don't wanna be the ugly bridesmaid in the photo album twenty years from now. And thanks to the fact that Karen has pretty friends and our dresses were cute I don't think anyone will have to hold that title!

The Wedding Has Come and Gone

I can't believe I'm saying this...but the wedding is over....and it was fabulous. I guess I am a slightly biased since I did plan most of the wedding lol, but I don't care it was great! Friday started off being all kinds of hectic, but in the end it was all worth it. All the planning, the spending hours at the salon, the slightly uncomfortable dress, agonizing over my toast....it was all worth it because by 8pm Friday none of that mattered. The wedding went off perfectly, the weather held out and was beautiful, the food and booze were good, and I'm pretty sure everyone had a good time. My favorite part was the pretty grounds and being outside on the balcony. I loved sitting out there and drinking with friends and family. I didn't really dance too much at the wedding, but I'm blaming that on my very tight dress. After finishing my delicious dinner the dress just became too tight to bust a move in lol. But it's okay because I got to catch up with a lot of people and make fun of the bad outfits and drunken fools...aka my favorite pasttime. Now that the wedding is over I get to relax. I'm starting up at work again tomorrow, but my hours will be light this summer. I figure since it's my last summer before being a full fledge grown up I should enjoy it and I have enough money in the bank to slack a little and stay at AH and just have fun.

Please tell me this is all a bad dream

Sometimes you have to wonder if God is really starting to hate you. This past week has been so bad I'm praying every morning I'm going to wake up and realize it's all been a bad dream. It all started last Monday when my Mom called to tell me my Dad was in the hospital. When I had seen him on Sunday when he came to Stockton to move some of my crap out I knew he seemed a bit off. Turns out he was having heart problems and he has now been in the hospital since last Monday. He was at Kennedy down the street which was nice cause he was so close I could just pop in and out, but then it got serious and he needed minor surgery so now he's at Lourdes which is farther away. So basically it's my first week of summer and I've spent about nine hours a day at hospitals. It is so weird to be visiting my Dad in the hospital, it's scary cause it makes me feel very old. My parents are too damn old and they better get healthier cause I don't want any more hospital visits for another twenty years! Walking into the hospital Tuesday night after I moved home was really odd. Seeing my Dad in the hospital bed was surreal because it has always been him visiting me in the past. In a strange way, part of me actually peferred it that way because I would feel more in control of the situation. It is hard to just sit there and stare at his heart monitors for hours hoping his heart rate goes lower. He started last week at 170 which is like insanely high and now he is down to like 110ish most of the time and 140 if he is moving around, which still isn't good but for now we'll take it. I know he is going to be okay once the meds take effect, but it's crazy to think he might not make it to the wedding if they can't get this under control by Friday! I can't even imagine Karen walking down the aisle alone or him not being there to dance with her. Everyone is trying to keep their spirits high for my Dad's sake and not talk about that, mostly because it's everyones biggest fear! I hope anyone who is wondering why I have been half alive the past week reads this. I haven't been able to call anyone back because getting cell phone service in a hospital is impossible and by the time I come home at 10pm I'm sooo tired from waking up at like 8am that I crash and forget to call and update people. Anywayz thanks to everyone for all the concern...it's so true that you know who your true friends are when the shit hits the fan! Thanks again and I hope to see everyone soon!!!!

The End is Near

The end of this school year is very bittersweet for me. While I am of course excited for summer and being done with classes, it is hard to think about having to leave in a week. This time next week I will be home a whole day already. Where did the last three years go? I can't believe I'm going to be a senior in a week. Even more than that I can't believe I am leaving this apartment in a week. Living with three other girls isn't always easy, but for the most part it has been amazing and I don't want to ever leave. We always knew the two years would go by fast and they did. It's going to be very emotional packing up all the stuff and leaving next Tuesday because not only are we no longer living in this apartment, but we are no longer all living together. I can't believe the Bially is graduating...it's so happy, yet sad. It makes me want to turn back time to freshman year in the crappy dorm. Back then we hated the small rooms and crappy caf food, but looking back all I can remember is the craziness and the fun.
I'm really starting to feel like a grown up recently. I have been making a lot of changes recently and taking steps toward the future. It's funny how when you know you only have a year of safety left you realize that you really need to change all aspects of your life and become a grown up. I just finished filling out my senior internship application. I hope the board likes my essays and gives me a good placement. That could make or break my first few years post Stockton. I've been thinking recently that maybe I will go away for grad school. I figure I may never have another oppurtunity to just pack up and leave and there isn't really anything holding me here anymore. It will of course be hard to leave my friends and family, but I would be sure to keep in touch and I wouldn't stay away forever...maybe just two years or so.
Well that's about it for now. I'm so stressing about this weekend...loads of studying to do and a stupid africa paper to write! Once Tuesday evening hits life is less complicated...sad, but less complicated.

This Week Blows

This week blows a whole lot. It's only Tuesday morning and already a lot of bad stuff has happened. Clancy passed away from cancer on Sunday and even though I wasn't that close to her or the boys the past few years it still sucks. When someone dies it makes you think about everyone in your life that has died and that is just always depressing. I didn't get emotional when I heard about her passing, but I think that is just because I feel very detached from my family while here at school. I'm sure the funeral on Thursday is going to be very diffcult since my aunts and uncles and my folks are going to be a mess. Dealing with death is so terrible it kind of makes me wonder why I am choosing hospice as my first choice for my internship next fall. I hope I am as tough as I think I am so that I can remain emotionally stable while helping my clients. Bottom line is that cancer sucks and I don't get how people can watch someone they love die of lung cancer and then light up a cigarette. I don't think I will ever understand that appeal of smoking and honestly I hope I never do.
Today was another bad day with all that happened at Virginia Tech. It's so scary to think that something so random can just happen to people my age. It was awkward sitting in class today thinking that the exact same thing could happen at any college, including Stockton. I don't understand how one person could ever be so angry that they felt the need to kill so many innocent people. It sounds terrible, but situations like this really make you look differently at the people sitting around you in class that you really know nothing about.
Anywayz onto happier things. This time tomorrow night my Africa paper will be finished and I will be much happier. The end of the semester doesn't seem to be going too badly. I just want to be done with all of this and have four months to do nothing. The wedding will be here before we know it. This weekend is Berto's big party so I'm looking forward to that and seeing everyone. I'm focusing on the good to get me through this awful week.
The only good news I got today was that Janine and I are getting our seeing eye puppy on May 2nd...well technically it's Janine's puppy, but since I will be living with the beast for 9 months I am part owner/ babysitter. We don't know her name yet, but its a female german shepard. I wish they let us name the dog...hopefully she will have a cool name. And since today is her day of birth I will conclude this blog by wishing Janine a happy birthday!!!! woo hoo for the roommate!!!

Pause

It's weird being home for spring break. It makes me feel like I don't really go to school, like my other life at Stockton is on pause until Sunday. I guess this a good thing because that life was really starting to stress me out! This semester has just been really ugly for me. I've had so much work between classes and the wedding that I feel like I'm constantly on over-drive. I'm counting down the days till school and over and the wedding is finally here. It's kind of sad because I know the wedding is going to be really nice, but this have been so stressful that a small part of me wishes it was just over already...not that I'm about to say that to Karen. As each little piece falls into place I'm starting to feel better about the whole thing though. We are finishing making the invitations on Wednesday and I went for a dress fitting today and my top is coming along nicely. I also got my shoes today and they are very cute!!! I can't believe how soon May is...I hope everything continues to fall into place.
After the break there is only 31 days of school left this year. I can't believe I am 31 days away from being a senior. The idea of it scares me a lot. I feel like I haven't accomplished enough on a personal or professional level to be graduating in a year....I'm hoping that it's just nerves and that I am not really behind. I was looking into grad schools tonight online. I really would love to go to Penn, but that would be like almost $70K and I'd have to go straight for two years. Rutgers, Widener, and West Chester are more reasonable for MSW's they would be around $30-40K and I could take my time and go course by course for most of them, since I'm going to have to work at least part-time during school. Basically I'm going to be poor for at least the next ten years, maybe more, and I need to find someone who wants to support me. And I need to start doing more volunteer work because schools really want that and I haven't done hardly any in the past few years.
The weather this week has been amazing. It makes me want to go the beach!!! It even inspired me to buy a bathing suit the other day. It's a cute brown with white little dots two-piece. And I actually don't hate it on me...shocker!!! Hopefully I will get to spend some time outside this week and enjoy the weather. I have a paper to write all day tomorrow about Africa, but going to Cheesecake for dinner is my reward =) Wednesday I have to do the envelopes for the invites and run a few errands so I will have to squeeze in some sun time! Thursday is sewing day since I haven't even opened my sewing machine from Christmas and Mag is getting pissed hehe, so I'm going to sew her a pillow or something simple lol. Then it's a weekend full of wedding business and hanging out. And before I know it my week of freedom will be over and it will be back to Stockton for another 31 days...just where I want to be =(

Spring break...so close I can taste it!!!!!!!!

This week is feeling very long and it's only Tuesday!!!! I hate taking care of all the little things before spring break! I'm trying to tie up a lot of loose ends so that I will have less to do over the break and more time to sleep and do nothing. I always think spring break is going to be so relaxing, but then I make too many appointments and plans and before I know it the week is over and I didn't get any rest at all. I already have doctor's appointments and wedding issues and work filling like four of my days off!!! Hopefully I will keep the other days open for some much needed rest and some hanging out with friends!
I'm pretty proud of myself for keeping on top of work this semester. I finally caught up with my politics assignments yesterday and I even did my homework that isn't due until after spring break! Daly will be so impressed lol. Tomorrow I'm getting back my psych grade and I'm very scared about that! I'm kind of praying for snow so I won't have to endure that until after the break. But I can't really have a snow storm right now because I need to go sit in the library tomorrow and watch three hours of africa videos!!! Discover Africa is a really interesting class, but these assignments are killing me!!!! Over the break I have two five page papers due for that class!!! Another oh so fun thing to occupy my relaxation time!
On a happier note, this past saturday was the Rave Part Deux and it was amazing!!! Aside from the fact that our bitch CA threatened to bust us. The jello shots were amazing if I do say so myself and I think everyone enjoyed our creative beer pong table! We must do at least one more rave before we leave the apartment of fabulous forever, we are thinking the second week in April! Rave Part Tres...holla!!!!

It's gonna be a long ass 40 days....

Today is only the first day of Lent..well really the first two hours of Lent and Jackie is already dying. I decided to give up soda for Lent because I always admire people who give up something that is difficult for them and I decided to be hardcore this year and do this myself. It is already extremely tough...I love soda!!!! The can of cherry coke in the fridge is calling my name!!!!!!!! I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to do this. I'm not really a fan of the Catholic faith anymore since I've stopped going to Church and I disagree with several of the key elements of the faith, but I am still giving up the soda because I see it as more of growth thing than a Lent/ Jesus thing. Like obviously Lent is a Catholic thing, but I really want to prove to myself that I can stick to this no soda pact and that I am a strong in willl when I want to be. So I figure I will make this sacrafice during Lent so I can suffer along with other people. I've also decided to do some positive things this Lent. I have been using the f-word recently and I don't know why? I really think it is a pointless word that makes a person sound dumb and I don't really know how, but I recently became addicted to using it. The point is I want it out of my vocabulary so I am going to try to not say it at all for the next 40 days. Even in those situations when you are extremely pissed and the situation really warrants a nice f-bomb lol. Lastly for Lent I am going to try to be less negative. I sometimes tend to focus on the negative side of things or I wil catch myself making a negative comment when I don't need to. So I've also decided that I'm going to try to be more positive and happy. I'm hoping the next 40 days will make me a better person, that is if I survive.

Tell Me Is This Fate

It's 88 days until the wedding and I'm stressing hardcore!!! Planning this wedding is making me realize I am either never marrying or I'm just going to elope because I would never want to stress people out as much as this wedding is stressing me out!!! Every little thing seems to be turning into a disaster!!! Well only the parts that are my problem really. Mag picked up my dress yesterday, I tried it on and the skirt is tight!!! I can get it to zipper and close, but it bunches and looks awkward because it comes up sooo freakin high!!! Yeah my top will cover this issue, but after a few drinks and some dinner, I'm afraid I'm gonna pop!!!! Then today I tried on the trial top I had made and of course it looks like crap! I feel awful because Donna spent so much time on it, but it really looks horrible on me so I'm going to have to go to another person and get a different pattern made. To make things worse when I called Karen and told her about how tiny my skirt was she tells me that Melanine got a size four skirt too and hers fits her just fine, she doesn't need any alterations at all. Like that makes me feel any better! I'm competeing with a girl who is 5'10 and could be a freakin model to see who is gonna look better in the dress!!!! Anyways I hate life and I'm going to look like a big fat piece of crap at the wedding...that is if I can even fit into whatever the hell my dress winds up looking like!
Of course the wedding isn't my only issue right now, school is also the devil!!! My classes are just so random and boring this semester that I am putting in zero effort and that is going to bite me on the ass very, very soon! I've spent the first part of this semester text messaging people and doodling my way through every single class and now test time is starting to roll around...ut-o!!!! I had my first music test last week, a lot uglier than I expected, but I did take notes in-between the text messaging so I'm hoping I survived with at least a B. My first paper is due for my Africa class this Wednesday and of course I haven't even started it!!! I watched the five hours worth of videos and starting reading the endless chapters of the book, now I have to get crackin on writing the five page summary. I know I will get it done on time, but I just can't motivate myself to start. I feel like I can't get five minutes to relax until May, every second that I'm not physically doing something I'm stressing about not doing something or thinking about/ planning what I have to do next. Once May 2nd hits school is over and on May 12th the wedding will be over and life will be carefree....I hope.

Running Out of Time!!!!

AHHHH!!!!! There is less than one week of break left and I haven't accomplished half of my goals. I just bought my books for next semester the other night, which is always fun. I just love when one professor requires 5 different books for a stupid cognate course that isn't even in my major. Stupid liberal arts requirements lol!!! Anywayz this break is going by way too fast and between working small amounts and planning the shower and hanging out with my friends I feel like I haven't had more than five minutes to just sit and chill. I did manage to read 3 books over the break, but I started my 4th book this week, The Thornbirds, which I have no hope of finishing by next week. It's like 700 pages and I have like zero free time between now and Monday when I move back to Stockton. The wedding is like 120 days away and its sucking up all my time already!!! Today we accomplished a lot though. Karen got bridal shoes and we looked at China patterns. China is an odd thing...you never really use it, you're always afraid you're gonna break it, and there are like 3 million different kinds and they all look exactly the same...yet picking the right China pattern is a huge deal! I just don't get it lol! It's funny how the little shit turns into a big deal sometimes. Now I'm being a mo and trying to make a huge list of all the stuff I need to handle before heading back to school while I paint my nails and lounge in my footie pajamas!!!! That's right they make footie pj's for adults and santa/ mag got me a pair and they are heaven!!!! It's like being a kid again =)

Where did the time go???

Holy crap its 2007!!!!! Where did 2006 go??? While laying in bed today taking my post-party nap I was thinking about the past year. People always say you should survey the previous year and see where you went wrong and what you can do differently the following year. The only problem is I had a hard time remembering what the hell I did all year, and then I realized that in itself is not a good thing. I know in reality I did a variety of things....work, school, hung out with friends etc. But I guess I'm a little saddened by the fact that I didn't do anything extra special that really stands out in my mind. To make this long story shorter, I have decided that I have two resolutions this year. My first resolution is the same one I make for myself every year and I think in recent years I am actually getting better at keeping. And that is to stop sweating the little things in life. Getting all worked up about stuff I can't change is just too much stress and I don't need it! Also to expand this resolution for 2007, I'm going to try and always do what I truly want to do and not be fake. I'm so tired of people being phony or feeling like you need to be a certain way to fit in and I think that is ridiculous. I've decided for 2007 I want to be more like one of those people who does exactly what they want to do and doesn't give a damn what other people think. After giving this part some thought though I realized this could turn me into someone cynical and uncaring so I will only do this in moderation.
My second resolution and the reason I wrote this now very long winded blog in the first place is because I want to do several memorable and important things this year. So I've decided every month throughout 2007 I am going to do something I have never done before or something important that will benefit other people and/or society. I haven't yet figured out what these 12 or so things are going to be, but it's only 1am on January 2nd so I have 364 days to figure them out!!!